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[4NY K3Y]

Timbuktu

Once in a quizshow. There were an Australian and a priest competing against each other. Their scores were equal, so they had to create a verse about "Timbuktu".
The priest began:
"I was a father, all my life,
had no children, had no wife.
I read the Bible, through and through.
On my way to Timbuktu."
Then the Australian told his version:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went,
we met three ladies cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
so I booked one and Tim booked two!"

[4NY K3Y]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson's Campingtrip

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: ”Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

[4NY K3Y]

Farted?

Two old women sit on a bench together. The one: Have you just farted? The other: Of Course I Have, or do you think I always smell like this?

[4NY K3Y]

Diesen Witz per Email versenden

A man was walking by and said, "WOW!! What a nice Gauddam Fish!"
The sister said, "Sir, you shouldn't use God's name in vain."
The man said, "But that's the SPECIES of the fish --- a Gauddam Fish."
The sister said, "Oh, ok." She took the fish back home and said, "Mother Superior, look at the Gauddam Fish I caught."
Shocked, the Mother Superior said, "Sister, you know better than that."
The nun said, "That's the species of it --- a Gauddam Fish."
So the Mother Superior said, "Well, give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll clean it."
While she was cleaning the fish, Monsignor walked in and Mother Superior said, "Monsignor, look at the Gauddam Fish that the sister caught."
Nearly fainting, Monsignor said, "Mother Superior, you shouldn"t talk like that!"
Mother Superior said, "But that's the species of it --- a Gauddam Fish."
Monsignor said, "Well give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll cook it."
That evening at supper there was a new priest at the table, and he said, "Wow, what a nice fish."
In reply, the sister said, "Thank-you, I caught the Gauddam Fish." And Mother Superior said, "I cleaned the Gauddam Fish." And Monsignor said, "I cooked the Gauddam Fish."
The priest looked around in disbelief, quite shocked, and said...
"I LIKE THIS FUCKING PLACE ALREADY!"

[4NY K3Y]

A customer went into a pub and out of his coat pocket, he produced a 14-inch little man who plays the piano. The landlord was very impressed and ask him where he got this little pianist from.
He said: "I was clearing an old aunty's loft and found this lamp and when I rubbed it a genie appeared and granted me a wish."
The landlord said: "That's good!, can I borrow this lamp?"
"Sure!" said the customer handing over the lamp.
The landlord took the lamp and rubbed it and out came a duck with a halo on its head.
"Funny, I didn't wish for that!!" said the landlord, to which the customer replied:
"Did you think I would wish for a fourteen inch pianist!"

[4NY K3Y]

I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes,
normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on
one end, and a hole on the other. For most of the
day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant
action. When in use, I move back and forth and
in 'n' out a warm, moist hole. When the work is
finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left
behind, and I return to my original position.
Cleaning is usually done after I am.
What am I?
.
.
.
.


Well, I am your very own...Toothbrush!
What were you thinking? You naughty person!

[4NY K3Y]

Sex is the most practical and funniest way of losing weight.


Look how many calories you can burn:

TAKING OFF THE CLOTHES
With her agreement....12 cal
Without her
agreement............187 cal

TAKING OFF THE BRA
With both hands........8 cal
With one hand.........12 cal
With the mouth.......85 cal


PUTTING ON THE CONDOM
With erection..........6 cal
Without erection.............315 cal

FOREPLAY
Trying to find the clitoris...............8 cal
Trying to find G spot.92 cal
Without caring at all..0 cal

WHEN "DOING IT"
Holding her up........12 cal
Just on the floor......8 cal

POSITIONS
Daddy-mummy............2 cal
69 laying..............8 cal
69 tanding up........112 cal
Trolley..............216 cal
Italian chandelier...912 cal

HAVING AN ORGASM
Real.................112 cal
Fake................315 cal

POST ORGASM
Staying in bed........18 cal
Jumping off the bed...36 cal
Figuring out why she jumped off the bed..........816 cal

GETTING THE SECOND ERECTION
Between 16 and 19 years of age...................12 cal
From 20 to 29.........36 cal
From 30 to 39.......108 cal
From 40 to 49........324 cal
From 50 to 59........972 cal
Over 60........... 2916 cal

PUTTING ON THE CLOTHES
Quietly...............32 cal
Being in a hurry......98 cal
With her husband opening the door................1218 cal

[4NY K3Y]

Husband asks his wife:
"Shall we try a different position tonight?"
Wife replies: "That´s a good idea. Why don´t YOU stand by the sink and do the dishes and I´ll sit on the sofa and fart."

[Momo]

Razni karakteri:

Uctiv - Prdne i kaže "pardon".
Cinik - Prdne i gleda te u oci.
Kavaljer - Pusti damu da prva prdne.
Gurman - Prdne iz sopstvenog zadovoljstva.
Osecajan - Prdne i kaže "oh".
Idealista - Prdne iz uverenja.
Veseljak - Prdne i kaže "ko prdi zlo ne misli".
Sentimentalan - Prdne i misli kako bi bilo lepo da nije prdnuo.
Šeprtlja - Prducka po ceo dan.
Naivcina - Prdne i misli da cini veliko delo.
Lepo vaspitan - Pre nego što prdne, moli za dozvolu.
Goropadnik - Prdne da se sve trese.
Realista - Smatra prdenje za normalnu pojavu.
Nestrpljiv - Jedva ceka da prdne.
Egoista - Prdi samo za sebe.
Pesimista - Još nije ni prdnuo, a vec misli da se usrao.
Dvolican - Prdne i pita ko je prdnuo.
Diskretan - Prdne i kaže "neka ostane medju nama".
Kolegijalan - Daje priliku da i drugi prdnu.
Neoprezan - Prdne i usere se u gace.
Snob - Prdi samo u dobrom društvu.
Glumica - Prdne i ceka aplauz.
Sportista - Ako neko prdne jednom, on ce dva puta, da obori rekord.

[4NY K3Y]

Dear Boss,

Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We
have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We
have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and
historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.

We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change
mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data
to reflect your new standards:

Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September,
October, November, December

As well as:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y
to K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global
problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does
the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we
ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We`ll await your direction.

Joan Duh
Snr Programmer

[Momo]

Ovo su istiniti oglasi iz novina:

-prodajem kravu, nije luda
-prodajem violinu u svirnom stanju
-posao cuvanja dece trazim kod uracunljivih ljudi
-prodajem tri ofucane fotelje
-pristojan sijamski macak bez iskustva trazi iskusnu macku za zajednicke trenutke
-prodajem limun u rodnom stanju
-prodajem vrtljive fotelje
-prodajem Opel Mantu, malo lupnuta
-prodajem Kadet 87 god. trulkast
-koljem po kucama, s vlastitim alatom

a ovo je stamparska greska:

-prodajem vucjaka, obucen za patnju
-zena 48m2 trazi posao
-prodajem jogi mudrac

[4NY K3Y]

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn`t feeling too hot that
morning anyway. I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be
pleasant and say «Happy Birthday» and probably have a present for me. She
didn`t even say «Good morning», let alone any «Happy Birthday». I
said, well, that`s wives for you. The children will remember.
The children came into breakfast and didn`t say a word.
When I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning
boss, Happy Birthday!" And I felt a little better - someone had
remembered.
About noon Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it`s such a
beautiful day outside and it`s your birthday, let`s go to lunch, just
you and me".
"Let`s go!" We went to lunch. We didn`t go where we normally go;
we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two
martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the
office, she said, "You know, it`s such a beautiful day. We don`t need
to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said,
"Let`s go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment, we had
another martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, "Boss, if you
don`t mind, I think I`ll go into the bedroom and slip into something
more comfortable."
"Sure", I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and about six
minutes later she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by
my co-workers, wife and children. All were singing «Happy Birthday . . .»,
and there on the couch I sat . . . with nothing on but my socks . . ..

[4NY K3Y]

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the
elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying
"T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T." She looked at him,
puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by
answering "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled
her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possible, "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical
expression, "S-H-I-T." The blonde finally decided to explain things and
this time she said "T-G-I-F........... T-hank G-od I-ts F-riday; get it?"
The man answered, "S-H-I-T.........S-orry H-oney, I-ts T-hursday."

[4NY K3Y]

A six-year-old walks into the kitchen where his mom is preparing a meal and
says, "Mom, the last few nights I have woke up to this thumping noise coming
out of your bedroom and when I look to see what it is, you`re sitting on top of
dad and bouncing up and down. Why are you doing that?" The startled mother
recovers quickly and says, "Your dad is a little overweight and I`m trying to
get him back to normal size. I bounce on him to get all the air out of him."
The little kid just shakes his head and says, "Mom, you`re wasting your time,
because once a week, that pretty lady next door comes over and blows daddy
right back up.

[4NY K3Y]

A boy who had just turned sixteen went to his father and asked him since he was old enough to drive, could he get a car.
The father thought about it, and I'll make a deal with you! If you read your bible more and cut your hair, then I'll get you a car. The son agreed and went his way.
A couple of weeks later, the son approached the father and said "you know, Dad, I've been reading the bible like you've asked me to and says here that Jesus had long hair too."
The father replied to the son, "Yeah, but Jesus also walked everywhere he went!..."

[4NY K3Y]

There was a butler who worked for a wealthy couple. The husband was old, and the wife young and beautiful. One night the couple went out to dinner, and the butler stayed at their house.
The young wife returned home earlier than the husband, and she called the butler, Sam, into her room. She told him:
"Sam, I want you to take my shoes off." Sam took her shoes off.
"Sam, now I want you to take my stockings off." Sam took her stockings off.
"Now, Sam, take off my dress, my bra, and my panties. And Sam, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again..."

[4NY K3Y]

Different guy goes into the bar and orders 5 shots of whiskey. the bartender says "Wow, what's up?" The guy says "I'm celebrating my first blow job." "Man, that's great," says the bartender. Let me buy you a shot too." "No, thanks," replies the guy. "If 5 drinks doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, 6 isn't going to do it either."

[4NY K3Y]

Diesen Witz per Email versenden

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's Sex?"
"OK."
He thinks this day was bound to come, and am not going to let my little princess learn about Sex from the streets. So, he sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception,sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He tells her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wetdreams.
Then she asks: "Daddy what is 'A Couple?'"
And he carries on :a couple are the two people involved in the sex, but this can be two males also, where they penetrate from the ass, or two females which we call lesbians, where they use the tongue on the vagina, and goes on to describe masturbation, oral sex, group sex, pornography, bondage and rape, pedophilia, sex toys etc...
The father finally asks: "So why did you want to know about 'a couple' and 'Sex?'"
"Oh, mummy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."

[4NY K3Y]

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

[4NY K3Y]

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives.


HE : Hi! Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice!

HE : May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE : No, I’d like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must’ve been given your share!!!

HE : I’d go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE : Okay, but would you stay there?

HE : Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry! I’m having a headache this weekend!!!

HE : Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE : Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out!
SHE : Okay, get out!!!

HE : I think I could make you very happy
SHE : Why, are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why, don’t you already have one?

HE : Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I’ve already seen it!!!

HE : Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

[TotalControl]

ISTORIJSKE LIČNOSTI U 2007

Šta bi se dogodilo (sa) poznatim istorijskim i mitskim ličnostima da su živjele u naše doba:



Aladin bi pokušao da protrlja sijalicu i ubila bi ga struja

Milošu Obiliću bi se sudilo u Hagu zbog kršenja običaja i pravila rata i za međunarodni terorizam

Sveti Georgije bi se našao na meti društava za zaštitu životinja verovatno bi bio dekanonizovan

Filipu Višnjicu i Homeru bi se sudilo zbog kleveta i širenja lažnih vijesti

Mojsije bi bio optužen za izazivanje opšte opasnostii remećenja prirodne okoline zbog epizode sa razdvajanjem mora

Cezar bi bio lustriran zbog neodgovorne politike na Rubikonu i osudjen
zbog nezakonite kocke

Šeherezada bi imala svoj "Dzeri Springer Show"

Odisej bi se, vrativši se kuci, suočio sa brakorazvodnom parnicom i ozbiljnom alimentacijom kao odštetom za neredovno ispunjavanje bračnih dužnosti i prevaru

Juda bi radio za DB

Kraljević Marko bi dobio trajnu zabranu na dozvolu za jahanje zbog
pijanstva, kao i tužbu zbog navodjenja životinja na alkoholizam i
uništavanje putne infrastrukture

Sizif bi nosio kožnu motorku i pjevao "it's only rock and roll but I like it"

Edip bi pronašao dobrog psihoanalitichara i izbjegao krvavi incest

Orfej bi se drogirao i izdavao albume za "Grand Prodaksn"

Arhimed bi imao jakuzi i boljelo bi ga za nauku

Sveti Ilija bi radio za EPS

Kaligula bi bio predsjednik skupštine

Nostardamus bi imao agenciju za proricanje i sopstveni plaćeni termin na TV Pinku

Tesla bi i dalje bio ispred svog vremena

Diogen bi se oduševio kvalitetom modernih plastichnih buradi (i kamp
kućica)i batalio potragu za čovekom

Dekart bi rekao "Mislim......Vidi, zanimljiv program na TV-u!".

Hipokrat bi imao privatnu kliniku, a medicinska zakletva bi pochinjala
sa: "Ljekar je dužan da pomogne bez obzira na vrstu viskija"

Filipides bi bio šampion u maratonu, a sponzor bi mu bila Nokia

Niche bi tvrdio da je bog živ da bi opet bio u suprotnosti sa javnim
mnjenjem.

Frojd bi rekao: "Aman, bre, ljudi - zezao sam se".

[west end]

Došla Danica Drašković kod ginekologa.Pita je on:
Kako je pičkica danas?
Danica:Ma eno ga kući, nešto piše.

[4NY K3Y]

Usmeni ispit na medicinskom fakultetu:
"Ako vam je znanje k'o sise, ne moramo ni pocinjati s ispitom."
(profesor dobio zabranu usmenog ispitivanja)
Ispit iz fizike: "Jesu li vama mozak napumpali helijumom da biste uopste mogli uspravno hodati?"
Profesor pravnog fakulteta obraca se trudnoj studentkinji: "Sad vec udvoje dolazite na ispit, a jos uvek nemate pojma..."
Profesor sedi u restoranu i jede.
Dolazi student i seda bez pitanja za njegov sto.
Profesor, ljutito:
- Otkad to orlovi i svinje sede za istim stolom?
Student se digne, pokupi tacnu i kaze:
- Dobro, onda letim dalje...
Na (nekom) predavanju na medicini profesor objasnjava studentima:
"U sastavu ljudske sperme najveci procenat cine prosti seceri..."
Na to jedna studentkinja rokomentarise glasno: "Ako je sperma puna secera - zasto nije slatkog ukusa?"
U tom trenutku shvata sta je rekla i pada od sramote pod sto, a amfiteatrom pocinje da se valja smeh. Profesor, mrtav 'ladan, odgovara: "To je zato, koleginice, sto se receptori za slatko nalaze na vrhu jezika a ne u dubini grla"
Antologijske price sa medicine :
1. Neka riba polaze usmeni ispit (valjda fiziologiju) i jedno od potpitanja je bilo sta se povecava u ljudskom organizmu 10 puta kad smo uzbudjeni. Riba onako stidljivo kaze: Pa,aaa, penis mislim. Inace tacan odgovor je - promer zenice. Na taj odgovor profa je ispravi, kaze da je u pitanju zenica i jos doda: Kad bi se penis povecavao 10 puta, Vama koleginice ne da bi se sirile zenice nego bi Vam oci ispadale!
2. A neka riba na medicini polagala neki ispit i izvukla pitanje - "Penis?". Kaze ona: "Penis je muski polni organ, u sredini ima kost, dugacak je oko 30cm....". Zavrsi ona a profesor joj kaze: "Lepo ste vi to savladali koleginice, samo za onu kosku vam se ucinilo a za onih 30cm ste samo imali mnogo srece!".

[4NY K3Y]

Istovremeno su u bolesnicku sobu primljena dva pacijenta za operaciju
testisa. Nakon nekog vremena u sobu je došla dežurma sestra (naravno,
prsata plavuša u minici) te im rekla:

"Zbog specifičnosti operativnog zahvata, potrebno je neposredno pred
operacijom isprazniti sjemenovode."

Tako je pristupila prvom pacijentu, uzela njegovo orude u ruku i
pocela brzo i jako masirati. Pacijentu je isprva bilo neugodno, ali su
sjemenovodi bili brzo ispražnjeni i dobro se osjecao.

Tada je pristupila drugom pacijentu. Sestra je prvo svukla njega, pa
i sebe legla uz njega i pocela milovati. Potom se pocela polagano
spuštati prema donjem dijelu trbuha i ljubiti ga... itd.

Prvi pacijent, vidljivo razocaran pita sestru: "Što je to sada, njega ste svukli i nježno i polagano ga popušili, a meni samo na brzinu na ruku...?"

Sestra se osmjehne s mnogo razumijevanja: "Vidite gospodine, to vam je
razlika između obaveznog i dodatnog zdravstvenog osiguranja..."

[TotalControl]

U Srbiji nikad više neće ustati brat na brata.
Svi imaju po jedno dijete...

[TotalControl]

Arhiva najčešćih bosanskih izraza...

U svijetu se kaže: "Dragi kolega, dugo se nismo vidjeli"
U Bosni se kaže:"Sta ima pička ti materina!"

U svijetu se kaže: "Mislim da niste dobro sagledali sve aspekte ugovora"
U Bosni se kaže:"Jebem te ćorava"

U svijetu se kaže: "Mora da se šališ"
U Bosni se kaže: "Sereš"

U svijetu se kaže: "Koju funkciju gospodin ima u firmi?"
U Bosni se kaže:"Koji je on kurac?"

U svijetu se kaže: "Smatram da njegovo mišljenje ne treba uvažiti"
U Bosni se kaže:"Ko ga jebe"

U svijetu se kaže: "Ovaj projekat je lako ostvarljiv"
U Bosni se kaže:"To je pičkin dim"

U svijetu se kaže: "On nema mnogo uticaja"
U Bosni se kaže:"Može mi ga popušiti"

U svijetu se kaže: "Hvala"
U Bosni se kaže: (u BiH taj izraz ne postoji u rječniku)

U svijetu se kaže: "Izvinite"
U Bosni se kaže:"Jebi ga"

U svijetu se kaže: "Neću"
U Bosni se kaže:"Hoću kurac"

U svijetu se kaže: "Zašto odbijate dalju saradnju?"
U Bosni se kaže:"Koji ti je kurac?"

U svijetu se kaže: "Ne bih se složio s vama"
U Bosni se kaže:"Jebo ti tu priču"

[4NY K3Y]

Babine ovce

Saznaju novinari kako jedna baba na nekoj planini ima mnogo ovaca
i sama ih cuva.
Jedan od njih je nekako pronadje, sedi baba na stolici i prede,
a ispred nje po livadi pase mnostvo ovaca.
- Bako, koliko imas ovaca ?
- Kojih, crnih ili belih, - pita baba.
- Pa, naprimer belih?
- Hiljadu.
- A crnih ?
- Isto, - mrzovoljno ce baba.

- A koliko jedna ovca daje vune ?
- Koja, crna ili bela ?
- Pa, naprimer, bela ?
- Dve kile godisnje.
- A crna ?
- Isto.


- A koliko se mesa dobije od jedne ovce ?
- Koje, crne ili bele ?
- Naprimer, crne ?
- Dva'es pet kila.
- A od bele ?
- Isto.


Novinar vec iznerviran, puk'o mu film, pa vikne na babu:
- Pa, dobro baba, kakva je razlika izmedju crnih i belih, kad
me stalno pitas : "crne ili bele", a na kraju sve isto !?


- Eeee, crne su moje !!!
- A bele ?
- Isto.

[4NY K3Y]

Socijalizam: Imas dve krave i jednu das komsiji.

Komunizam: Imas dve krave. Vlada ti uzme obe i da ti malo mleka.

Fasizam: Imas dve krave. Vlada ti uzme obe i proda ti malo mleka.

Nacizam: Imas dve krave. Vlada ti uzme obe i strelja te.

Birokratizam: Imas dve krave. Vlada ti uzme obe, strelja jednu, pomuze drugu i baci mleko.

Tradicionalni kapitalizam: Imas dve krave. Prodas jednu i kupis bika. Tvoje stado se mnozi i prihodi rastu. Prodas ih sve i penzionises se sa velikom penzijom.

Americka korporacija: Imas dve krave. Prodas jednu i teras drugu da proizvodi mleko kao cetiri druge. Kasnije zaposlis eksperta da ispita zasto je krava crkla.

Francuska korporacija: Imas dve krave. Stupas u strajk zato sto hoces 3 krave.

Japanska korporacija: Imas dve krave. Redizajniras ih da budu velicine desetog dela obicne krave i da daju 20 puta vise mleka. Onda napravis lukav crtani koji nazoves Kravamon i reklamiras ih po celom svetu.

Nemacka korporacija: Imas dve krave. Prepravis ih da zive 100 godina, jedu 1 mesecno i same sebe muzu.

Britanska korporacija: Imas dve krave. Obe su lude.

Italijanska korporacija: Imas dve krave ali ne znas gde su. Odes na pauzu za rucak.

Ruska korporacija: Imas dve krave, prebrojis ih i shvatis da ima 5 krava. Ponovo ih prebrojis i shvatis da ima 5 krava. Ponovo ih prebrojis i shvatis da ima 42 krave. Ponovo ih prebrojis i shvatis da imas 2 krave. Prestanes da brojis i otvoris novu flasu votke.

Kineska korporacija: Imas dve krave. Imas 300 ljudi da ih muzu. Tvrdis da je zaposlenost 100 %, visok prinos mleka i uhapsis novinara koji je objavio cifre.

Indijska korporacija: Imas dve krave. Obozavas ih dok ne crknu.

Srpska korporacija: Imas dve krave. Drzava proda tvoje krave na tenderu a tebe proglasi tehnoloskim viskom.
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Kupite krave dok ih jos ima na trzistu i pocnite svoj biznis.

[west end]

Sta radi ciga za kompjuterom?Pretura po Recycle bin-u.

[4NY K3Y]

Na prijemnom ispitu, a gdje bi drugo vec na sarajevskoj Likovnoj Akademiji, pred kandidate su postavljene tri slike:

a) IZGOREN KRUH
b) UTOPLJEN COVJEK i
c) TRUDNA ZENA

Zadatak je bio pronaci (samo) dvije rijeci koje su karakteristicne zasve tri slike.

Ispit je polozila jedna jedina osoba, djevojka sa povecim stomakom...
Napisala je: KASNO IZVADJEN...