- 01 Dec 2006, 19:18
#640998
and this is especially for me and ma babe, i think hy will find this very true
Element Name: FEMME
Symbol: FE
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: BUTCH
Symbol: DUH
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with FE any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with other Duh for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known.
Caution: In the absence of FE, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
The Last 10 Things Any Butch Would Ever Say
I think those pink shoes would go well with my blue shirt.
While I'm up, can I get you any thing?
I think hairy butts are really sexy.
Her tits are just too big.
Sometimes I just want to be held.
That chick on "Bay Watch" is just ugly.
Maybe I could do the dishes tonight.
We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I get to hold your purse.
Never mind Monday Night Football, let's watch a romantic movie.
Here honey, You drive…You drive so much better than me.
What a femme says and what a butch hears
What a femme says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
you and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear,
if we don't do laundry right now!?"
What a butch hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
CONTINUING EDUCATION FOR BUTCHES
A new two-year degree is being offered at Life University that many of you should be interested in: Becoming A Real Butch. That's right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real butch -- as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Butch).
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
BUTCH 101 - Combatting Stupidity
BUTCH 102 - You, Too, Can Do Housework
BUTCH 103 - PMS Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
BUTCH 104 - We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas
Winter Schedule:
BUTCH 110 - Wonderful Laundry Techniques
BUTCH 111 - Understanding the Femme's Response to Getting in at 4am
EAT 100 - Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101 - Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A - What's Yours is Hers
Spring Schedule:
BUTCH 120 - How NOT to Act Like an Asshole When You're Wrong
BUTCH 121 - Understanding Your Incompetence
BUTCH 122 - YOU, the Weaker One
BUTCH 123 - Reasons to Give Flowers
SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
SEX 101 - You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102 - Hold her after sex is important
BUTCH 201 - How to Stay Awake After Sex
Winter Schedule:
BUTCH 210 - The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
BUTCH 211 - How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
BUTCH 212 - You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
BUTCH 213 - Honest, You Don't Look that good when Naked
BUTCH 230A - Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1
Spring Schedule:
BUTCH 220 - Omitting f*ck from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
BUTCH 221 - Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
BUTCH 223 - Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
BUTCH 230B - Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2
Course Electives:
EAT 101 - Cooking with spices
EAT 102 - Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103 - Burping and Belching Discreetly
BUTCH 231 - In-Laws
BUTCH 232 - Appear to Be Listening
BUTCH 233 - Just Say "Yes, Dear"
ECON 001B - Cheaper to Keep Her (Must Pass ECON 001A)

Element Name: FEMME
Symbol: FE
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: BUTCH
Symbol: DUH
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with FE any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with other Duh for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known.
Caution: In the absence of FE, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
The Last 10 Things Any Butch Would Ever Say
I think those pink shoes would go well with my blue shirt.
While I'm up, can I get you any thing?
I think hairy butts are really sexy.
Her tits are just too big.
Sometimes I just want to be held.
That chick on "Bay Watch" is just ugly.
Maybe I could do the dishes tonight.
We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I get to hold your purse.
Never mind Monday Night Football, let's watch a romantic movie.
Here honey, You drive…You drive so much better than me.
What a femme says and what a butch hears
What a femme says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
you and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear,
if we don't do laundry right now!?"
What a butch hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
CONTINUING EDUCATION FOR BUTCHES
A new two-year degree is being offered at Life University that many of you should be interested in: Becoming A Real Butch. That's right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real butch -- as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Butch).
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
BUTCH 101 - Combatting Stupidity
BUTCH 102 - You, Too, Can Do Housework
BUTCH 103 - PMS Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
BUTCH 104 - We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas
Winter Schedule:
BUTCH 110 - Wonderful Laundry Techniques
BUTCH 111 - Understanding the Femme's Response to Getting in at 4am
EAT 100 - Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101 - Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A - What's Yours is Hers
Spring Schedule:
BUTCH 120 - How NOT to Act Like an Asshole When You're Wrong
BUTCH 121 - Understanding Your Incompetence
BUTCH 122 - YOU, the Weaker One
BUTCH 123 - Reasons to Give Flowers
SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
SEX 101 - You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102 - Hold her after sex is important
BUTCH 201 - How to Stay Awake After Sex
Winter Schedule:
BUTCH 210 - The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
BUTCH 211 - How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
BUTCH 212 - You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
BUTCH 213 - Honest, You Don't Look that good when Naked
BUTCH 230A - Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1
Spring Schedule:
BUTCH 220 - Omitting f*ck from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
BUTCH 221 - Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
BUTCH 223 - Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
BUTCH 230B - Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2
Course Electives:
EAT 101 - Cooking with spices
EAT 102 - Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103 - Burping and Belching Discreetly
BUTCH 231 - In-Laws
BUTCH 232 - Appear to Be Listening
BUTCH 233 - Just Say "Yes, Dear"
ECON 001B - Cheaper to Keep Her (Must Pass ECON 001A)