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[Hys.]

God she is silly:gric:
http://www.rhino.com/retrovid/VideoKeep ... ng&Partner

[marvuk]

Hello!

I am ready to join this playground and I want to say hello to Confucious and to ask her: "Are we gonna drink that beer or what?"

doduše, može i pelinkovac (cico, prevedi ovo - ne umem ja baš sve) i ako sam kojim slučajem napisao medved umesto piva... hehe silly me

[Hys.]

Originally posted by marvuk
Hello!

I am ready to join this playground and I want to say hello to Confucious and to ask her: "Are we gonna drink that beer or what?"

doduše, može i pelinkovac (cico, prevedi ovo - ne umem ja baš sve) i ako sam kojim slučajem napisao medved umesto piva... hehe silly me

well, hun will sure have that beer or pelinkovac (trust me, cant translate it either) when she comes in january

[Confucius]

Originally posted by marvuk
Hello!

I am ready to join this playground and I want to say hello to Confucious and to ask her: "Are we gonna drink that beer or what?"

doduše, može i pelinkovac (cico, prevedi ovo - ne umem ja baš sve) i ako sam kojim slučajem napisao medved umesto piva... hehe silly me

Hi Marvuk Sure we will, will be good to see you again.

[Hys.]

babes have a nice weekend, hope u ll work enough to play bit more with me tommorow nite:gric:
I hope I get your parcel tommorow, I sure feel like having some chocolates:hyper:
U loving cheeky git

[Hys.]

for a mornin' laugh :
A Virgin's Worst Nightmare


A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."

--------------------------------------------------------------
One bright, beautiful Sabbath morning everyone in the tiny Midwestern town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started the towns people were sitting in their pews when suddenly Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the exit, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate. Soon everyone evacuated from the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew. He was not moving and seemed oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now, this confused and irritated the Devil a little bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" "Yep, sure do," replied the elderly gentleman. Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?" "Nope, sure ain't ," the gentleman replied. Satan, a little more perturbed at this, asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Hys.]

A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed,
- "Stop! Please! You aren't going to cut it off, are you?"
Placing the saw in her husband's hand and with a gleam of revenge in her eye, the wife replied,
- "Of course not! I'm going to set fire to the shed. You do whatever you have to do!"
its not funny however how I could easely picture my self doing that

[Mortis]

Lol, comics and jokes rule!

I'm ready to give my contribution, but noy just yet, I'd like to abuse my job some.
So, until tomorrow...
A movie title on one of my DivXses says "kiss the girls", so

[marvuk]

Hello again! Super duper! We will drink together
Hm, something just came on my mind. In january, I am in Saturday city (ko razume, shvatiće) but we will make a deel. Uh, now I am confucie... Too much energy these days in me, I am so happy

[Mortis]

As promised, here I am, procastinating on the job :applause:.

So, instead of copy/pasting jokes, I'm going to translate one local joke into English, thereby making it global and spreading Serb culture into vast expanses of Serbian nonspeakers on this forum.

So, a Serbian, Montenegrian and Vojvodinian (yeah, they're called that in English, look it up) compete which one is married to a stupidest female.

The Montenegrian says: Mine just bought a laundry machine. In Montenegro there is power and running water three months per year, and she bought it.

The Serbian says: Mine just bought a fancy cellphone, and there is no signal in our village.

The Vojvodinian says: Every time mine goes out, she packs two or three condoms, and she got no cock.

[Hys.]

mortis
innit fab to search forum while at work? I didnt dare do it much though cuz I had to clear bloddy history and all after
Thanx for the joke, me thinks we should translate more of serbian jokes so lovely confucius could have even greater knowledge of our weird menatlity
I just realized that I am using slang and dialect like in english forum "me thinks" instead of I think, meself instead of myself, ....prob folks will think my english is pretty bad...well me loves to speak in dialects:jezik:
Mortis lad did ya check kd lang link? Its her early links, performing in cowboy outfit live
And another thing-cuz gayserbia isnt really that knowledgeble about identities, being pc in lgbt,I was using pronaun she for someone who likes to be called hy in this virtual world-hy is butch woman and my english boi-hy is confucius.

[Hys.]

Hy, hym, s/he--- Various masculine pronouns for Butches. Sometimes Butches online will also call one another "bro" or use traditional male pronouns, much in the same way that queens call one another "she". Such bending of our limited language isn't always politically motivated, but often the practice is simply employed as a tidy way of differentiating between the Butches and Femmes online.
Binary gender system--- Concept that there are two genders: man and woman. Many believe that Butch and Femme disprove the concept of a binary gender system. Some Butches and Femmes claim rights to a third gender.
Old-school, or classic butch-femme--- Refers historically to the well-documented Butch-Femme community that organized in the 50's. Can also refer to modern day Butches and Femmes who appreciate an/or emulate many of the values from an era when the roles in our community were more clearly defined.

Now I can always pinpoint to here if anyone asks me same old questions...I think I will add more when I feel the need to:)

[Val]

Please, don't call ME "bro"! I AM Butch, but still...it sounds soooo silly. Bro?!

[Hys.]

Originally posted by Val
Please, don't call ME "bro"! I AM Butch, but still...it sounds soooo silly. Bro?!

I agree, and NO I never heard anyone calling like that except on american site, I was thinking of editing that part-its definition from american BF site, they have that thing, english dont:namig2: And my baby is english and too reserved to call anyone bro:smeh:
But I think rest of descriptions are fine, arent they?

[Confucius]

Originally posted by Mortis
As promised, here I am, procastinating on the job :applause:.

So, instead of copy/pasting jokes, I'm going to translate one local joke into English, thereby making it global and spreading Serb culture into vast expanses of Serbian nonspeakers on this forum.

So, a Serbian, Montenegrian and Vojvodinian (yeah, they're called that in English, look it up) compete which one is married to a stupidest female.

The Montenegrian says: Mine just bought a laundry machine. In Montenegro there is power and running water three months per year, and she bought it.

The Serbian says: Mine just bought a fancy cellphone, and there is no signal in our village.

The Vojvodinian says: Every time mine goes out, she packs two or three condoms, and she got no cock.

Funny joke Mortis I think the Vojvodinian must be like the Irish to us lol.I dont know where they are from though I never heard of that word before.

I will have to find some Irish jokes for you.

Hey Dev who does this remind you of ?

[Confucius]

Originally posted by devokICA

Originally posted by Val
Please, don't call ME "bro"! I AM Butch, but still...it sounds soooo silly. Bro?!

I agree, and NO I never heard anyone calling like that except on american site, I was thinking of editing that part-its definition from american BF site, they have that thing, english dont:namig2: And my baby is english and too reserved to call anyone bro:smeh:
But I think rest of descriptions are fine, arent they?

Too reserved ? lol.
Yes I probably am. Remember me queing to get on the bus in Belgrade ?

[Hys.]

yea, you actually thought you could get IN without pushing

[Hys.]

"The beauty of life is in small details, not in big events."

jim jarmusch

[Mortis]

Hey, ev'body!

Just had a little surge of good luck this morning... Somebody left some credit in our coffee vendor machine, just enough for a cup of my favorite. So I got a freebee, not bad.

Well, Confucious. Vojvodina is the northern region of Serbia, all flat and fertile, with people who live their lives slowly. It is the most ethnicaly diverse area on the planet: over 200 ethnic minorities, no majorities. The most numerous are Serbs (don't know any numbers, let's say about 30%) and Hungarians. A stereotypical Vojvodinian (this sounds ridicilous in English, but that's the way to say it) is fat, oblivious to reality, and naive, frequenly called Lala (tulip). A stereotypical Vojvodinian female is a pretty bland and common woman, except for her sleeping around, called Sosa (this time it is not a flower). So, here are some short jokes about them:

Lala wanders into a maternity ward, and a preagnant lady asks him whether he is waiting for a child. He says, no, I'm just healthy plump.

Lala caught a golden fish. He gets standard three wishes, and he says:
I wish Sosa to never cheat on me.
And, if she cheats, I wish to never find out.
And if I find out, I wish to not be very upset.

Sosa and Melina (a Hungarian Vojvodinian) are shooting the shit.
Melina sighs "My husband fuck not well" (she isn't very proficient in Serbian)
Sosa says "the correct way to say it is my husband doesn't fuck well"
Melina says "no, no, you husband fuck well. My husband fuck not well."

Do you have any stereotype names for the Irish? Paddy or somesuch?

Cheers

[Mortis]

Oh, yeah. Vojvodina in literal translation means dukedom.
Just so it sounds less silly.

[Hys.]

yap mortis, con said hy will post some irish jokes tonight, but here is some for starters:
At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up:

"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up:

"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Ireland stood up:

"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness.

Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

[Mortis]

Why is a diploma like a condom?
It's rolled up when you get it, it represents a lot of effort, it's worthless
the next day.

[Hys.]

Originally posted by Mortis
Why is a diploma like a condom?
It's rolled up when you get it, it represents a lot of effort, it's worthless
the next day.

thats is so true here, innit?
and here is gay one:

Four gay guys walk into a gay bar and they find a problem. There's only one stool left.

One guy says "Lets flip for it"

But another says "No, Lets flip it over"

[Hys.]

Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?

A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.


A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, "Why, it's immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?"

The woman responds, "I have a woman in twice a week."


Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian tennis shoe called "Dyke"?

A: It has an extra long tongue and it only takes one finger to get it off!


A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 tequilas. The bartender
asked, "What's wrong."

The guy says that he just found out that his younger son is gay.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry about that buddy."

After a couple of days the guy comes back and orders 15 tequilas.
The bartender enquires, "What's wrong now?" To which the guy
responds that he found out that his older son was gay, too. The
bartender says that he's sorry.

The guy returned a few days later and ordered 20 tequilas. The
bartender burst out, "Isn't anyone in your family gettin' any
pussy?!" and the guy looks up and sneers, "Yeah, my wife!!!!!"

[Mortis]

Lol, I heard the four gays one but in a form of how do you seat 4 blondes on one stool... it's still funny. The butch one kicks serious ass! Except it loses impact if you translate it... maybe I'm just unimaginative. The lesbians and lightbulb version I heard was it takes three, one to do it and the other two to film a documentary about it (I still don't get it, lol.) But the gyno one is... wow... ... Can I use it? It doesn't have any TMs on it?

So, what are you girls up to? When do we get to know something about the happy fun couple?

[Val]

Originally posted by devokICA
yea, you actually thought you could get IN without pushing

Try me! I did it without pushing! Skip wather and soap for a couple days and You'll seeeee...

Just kiddin'! They don't care about it.

[Val]

Originally posted by devokICA

A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 tequilas. The bartender
asked, "What's wrong."

The guy says that he just found out that his younger son is gay.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry about that buddy."

After a couple of days the guy comes back and orders 15 tequilas.
The bartender enquires, "What's wrong now?" To which the guy
responds that he found out that his older son was gay, too. The
bartender says that he's sorry.

The guy returned a few days later and ordered 20 tequilas. The
bartender burst out, "Isn't anyone in your family gettin' any
pussy?!" and the guy looks up and sneers, "Yeah, my wife!!!!!"

[Hys.]

Hey hun what is TM's?
They are cool ones, I will find more:eya:
Well, con is still at work, I am ill these days so I barely spoke to hym, for an hour or so,even slept last nite and missed our evening chat, which happend 4 times the most in 4 months
I am up for posting fevershly and being cheeky tonight here, since I ve noticed only other thread hy posted in is s/m bondage one
http://www.gay-serbia.com/forum/viewthr ... 749&page=5

wonder why:roll:
We should play TPAM-the person above me reputation game once, we will start once, so u ll see how we get randome
@con u bloody cocky git I miss ya to bits
here is another joke:


This man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and says, "I'd like to buy those two ladies a drink."

The bartender replies, "It won't do you any good."

The man, with a confused look on his face says, "It doesn't matter, I want to buy those women a drink."

The bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and the ladies acknowledge the drink with a nod of their heads. About a half-hour later, the man approaches the women and says, "I'd like to buy you two another drink."

The women both reply, "It won't do you any good."

The man says, "I don't understand. What do you mean it won't do me any good?"

The first lady says, "We're lesbians."

The man replies, "Lesbians? What are lesbians?"

The second woman replies, "Lesbians... We like to lick pussies."

The man says, "Bartender, three beers for us lesbians."

[Val]

Cute.

[Hys.]

this one is cute too:)
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."