- 08 Jul 2012, 11:20
#2407322
Q 1) WHAT IS G0Y AND WHERE DID THE TERM ORIGINATE?
A 1: The G0y word originates from old jewish word g'y (goy) means attracted by the men. The g0y movement was created as a departure from stereotype; A term was needed that had some meaning behind it, while being simple enough for people to remember; plus stir some curiosity.
G0YS (Spelled with a ZER0) are guys who find men physically & emotionally attractive, but are offended with the stigmas that currently define the 'gay community' in the public psyche. G0YS recognize that the prominent facets of the "gay-male" community tend to embrace every gender-bending act, fetish & affectation. G0YS reject those associations completely & consider it a form of gender-prejudice against men who love men.
Behaviorally: Anal-sex is innately shunned by g0ys - as it represents the ultimate form of sexual disrespect whether male/male or male/female. Other distasteful stereotypes include (but are not limited to): Effeminate behavior, extreme passivity (like cowardice) & drag. G0YS don't call other men "girl", "bitch", "queen", etc.
The scarab is not our mascot. G0YS don't play in shit, -nor do we lust after it's origin. It really is that simple. The thing that represents itself as the "GAY-male paradigm" is one of the most dirty, debased movements on the planet and they have the disease statistics proving that assertion beyond any shadow of a doubt!" – G0y Veh (Founding member)
G0Y guys are guys who are all about masculine respect, pride & integrity; & we believe it’s disrespectful for a guy to play the female role or expect of his buddy to play the female role.
Q 2) HOW IS G0Y PRONOUNCED?
A 2: Rhymes with Boy & Toy
Q 3) WHAT IS THE DIFFERENTIATION BETWEEN G0Y and GAY?
A 3: G0Y places a zer0 where the “A” in “GAY” is. Why? Because: WORD MEANINGS CAN CHANGE.
'When people began to use the term "GAY", it primarily meant "Same-Gender-Attracted". G0YS have no issue with that original, simple meaning. However, over time, the term has taken on lots of associated baggage as a result of stigmas from stereotypes - many aggressively & shamelessly promoted in the "GAY MALE COMMUNITY" itself. It is one thing to be slurred by "outsiders"; however, the bulk of Gay-male stigmas are promoted as "gay-culture" from within the "gay-male demographic".
The current general use of the term now brings a series of images to people's minds that actually have nothing to do with simple Same Gender Attractions (but are now inseparably welded to the word in the public psyche). The use has become so distorted over time -that saying "gay-sex" is now generally presumed as synonymous w. "anal-sex" (even the mass-media regularly interchanges the two). Not only does the "GAY COMMUNITY" seem "ok" with that stereotype, but heavily promotes it -& many others just as debased.
As a result, G0YS find the current use of the term "GAY" to be vulgar, & acutely repugnant to our ethos. Our disrespect of the term reflects our feelings about the contemporary implications (implied stigmas/stereotypes); -not a disdain for the original (simplistic) use. Please bear this in mind whenever you see any g0y commentary critical of "GAY".'
Q 4) WHAT MAKES SOMEONE G0Y?
A 4: Generally, if they relate strongly to the explanation to question 3. It has to be said that g0y is NOT a sexual orientation but a philosophy according to which a man with Same Gender Attraction (SGA) lives his sexuality. He either relates to the philosophy and embraces it or not.
Q 5) WHERE IS THE LINE BETWEEN G0Y AND GAY?
A 5: Generally, the response to question 3. In addition g0y is about the deep connection between dudes. That connection begins as a friendship that gradually deepens to the point where defences come down & inhibitions drop as a bond of powerful affection grows - often beside an appreciation of each guy's masculine traits & physique. Sharing laughter, deep conversation & personal issues - likewise is often a strong step toward intimacy between a couple of men, reaching a point of trust where sharing touch, nakedness & mutual climax is the ultimate bond of intimacy between 2 buds.
There is a place in the heart of most men where they want affirmation from other strong, masculine men that affirms them as men & does not threaten their masculine core. G0y philosophy is beginning to uncover the difference in the feelings between the depths of masculinity vs. the petty vindictiveness of effeminate thoughts, acts & lifestyles that have come to dominate the gay male community. Being g0y is about the deep connection. Being g0y is about loving the wholeness of the other guy so much that the barrier to touch, closeness & emotional intimacy dissolve.
Because of the above g0ys generally do not find their buddies at bath houses, cruise bars and who knows what other hook-up/pick up venue. G0ys meet their buddies during normal everyday activities i.e. at work, outdoor or sports clubs, gym, church, social gatherings etc.
Q 6) HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AND WHY? WHAT INFLUENCED THE DECISION?
A 6: You see yourself as a masculine man who happens to be attracted to men also. In terms of my SGA you can take your place from K0 till K6 on the Kinsey scale ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale" target="_blank ). You live your sexuality according to the g0y philosophy WHY? Well because it’s how your moral and spiritual constitution interacts with your sexuality.
Q 7) G0Y GUYS DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY, WHY IS THIS?
A 7: Explained again by the response to questions 1, 3 and 5, but let me be even more specific and even blunt. This is a quote by prominent gay activist Larry Kramer, now 76 y/o and living with AIDS: "Does it occur to you that we brought this plague of AIDS upon ourselves? I know I am getting into dangerous waters here but it is time. With the cabal breathing even more murderously down our backs it is time. And you are still doing it. You are still murdering each other. Please stop with all the generalizations and avoidance excuses gays have used since the beginning to ditch this responsibility for this fact. From the very first moment we were told in 1981. that the suspected cause was a virus, gay men have refused to accept our responsibility for choosing not to listen, and, starting in 1984., when we were told it definitely was a virus, this behavior turned murderous. Make whatever excuses you can to carry on living in your state of denial but this is the fact of the matter. I wish we could understand and take some responsibility for the fact that for some 30 years we have been murdering each other with great facility and that down deep inside of us, we knew what we were doing. Don't tell me you have never had sex without thinking down deep that there was more involved in what you were doing than just maintaining a hard-on. I have recently gone through my diaries of the worst of the plague years. I saw day after day a notation of another friend's death. I listed all the ones I'd slept with. There were a couple hundred. Was it my sperm that killed them, that did the trick? It is no longer possible for me to avoid this question of myself. Have you ever wondered how many men you killed? I know I murdered some of them. I just know. You know how you sometimes know things? I know. Several hundred over a bunch of years, I have to have murdered some of them, planting in him the original seed." - Larry Kramer for CNN December 1st 2011.
It is the gay male community itself, and with the help of the gay porn industry, who have made Same Gender Attraction and man2man physical intimacy synonymous with anal sex. An unnatural and debasing act which increases the risk of contracting a STD by +5000%, compared to any other form of sexual contact, according to the CDC and WHO.
In a recent 365Gay.com column, safer sex educator James Murray related the frightening story of a man who had contracted gonorrhoea anally. The gonorrhoea got into his bloodstream and he required intravenous treatments in a hospital.
Fortunately, the man recovered, and James devoted the rest of the column to examining the possible causes of the infection, including a lapse in condom use, and discussing ways in which the man might safely "still enjoy his butt" and "casual gay sex." Is anal sex worth propping up in this way? I think that upon reasoned examination we can see that it's not, for the truth is that in terms of both pleasure and risk, anal sex is a dubious practice to maintain at the centre of our sexual culture.
First of all, there's a pronounced pleasure inequality in anal sex, particularly for the person being penetrated, the so-called bottom.Gayhealth.com makes two telling statements about what he feels. The first is that "the anus is not a vagina," by which gayhealth.com means that the anus is not an organ of sexual pleasure. And, gayhealth.com goes on to say, the pleasure for the bottom is, therefore, "psychological."
Which I would suggest is a polite term for "imaginary."
Because of all this things g0ys stand separate from the gay community and show an alternative philosophy re male sexuality and how a man can live his sexuality with dignity, pride, respect and integrity, while upholding the motto “love works no ill”.
Q 8) IS G0Y MASCULINITY OR MORE ABOUT BEING DISASSOCIATED WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY?
A 8: Yes – to both parts. There is an essay on the g0ys site that explains it like this: “G0YS bring clarity & sanity to a group of men who know the difference between loving their buddies vs. fukk'n an arse”. This statement might seem quite offensive to some, but in many discussions with gay men I’ve found that they reject g0y philosophy based solely on our rejection of anal sex. G0y philosophy is a 3 stranded chord woven together. The 1st strand is respect for masculinity – which includes the physical traits (well looked after, toned and healthy physique) as well as character traits (honour, valour, integrity etc). The 2nd strand is friendship first - physical intimacy with a buddy flows from a deep and intimate connection and not a random hook-up driven by a need to get off. The 3rd strand is Love works no ill – and it captures the concept that nothing in the expression of our love for our buddy will bring harm (physical, emotional or spiritual) to him or me.
Clearly this stands in sharp contrast with the following blog excerpt by gay porn director, Michael Lucas. An excerpt from: http://www.lucasblog.com/archives/2005/" target="_blank … html#more: “It happens to the best of us: at one point or another, we’ve all been painted brown. Oh yes, I’m talking shit today, baby! I’ve been there. You’ve been there. We’ve all been there (either as a top or a bottom). All of a sudden, what was a hot fuck turns into a smelly embarrassment. Your nose starts to wrinkle and it hits you—first the smell, then the utter humiliation. You know that pulling out now could be disastrous. What do you do? Do you acknowledge the fact that your dick is covered with shit? Do you say something? Or do you continue to fuck, ignoring the big brown elephant that’s just squatted in the middle of the room? (Some of you might actually find this sort of stuff exciting, but that’s a whole other blog topic).”
G0YS need to call it as it is - while sharing the message that there is a distinct choice for guys who love their buds while feeling an aversion away from "gay".
Q 9) THERE ARE G0Y MEN WHO ARE 100% GAY; HOW DOES THIS WORK?
A 9: Your use of the term “gay” shows the problem with the term. Remember in Q3 we started to explain that word meanings can change over time. Let us assume you mean Same Gender Attracted (SGA) when you used the term gay. Then we can explain it according to the Kinsey research.
For us Kinsey's research was revolutionary. It is the definitive authority on male sexual orientation. His findings completely shattered the notion that men are divided into 2 camps i.e. heterosexual vs homosexual. Instead sexual orientation is spread out on a scale from 0 to 6 according to the level of Same Gender Attraction - 0 being fully heterosexual and 6 fully homosexual. 58+% of men fall in the 1 - 5 bracket. Add to it the 10% K6 bracket and you find that a whopping 68+% of men have Same Gender Attraction - that is 2 out of every 3 men! So the majority of men are a Bisexual – 58+%. This is also reflected in g0y men, the majority are a Bisexual. The guys in your question fall in the K6 bracket of sexual attraction and they live and express their sexuality according to the g0y philosophy.
This is important to g0y philosophy because it says to us that it is completely normal and natural for a man to have Same Gender Attraction and that one does not have to choose a "side". SGA is a natural part of male sexuality. This truth brings enormous relief to the guy who felt conflicted and guilt for experiencing SGA but also felt that he could not choose as he does not belong in either of the 2 end brackets.
So g0y then offers a philosophy of male sexuality and the expression of that sexuality in a dignified respectful way that honours the masculinity in your buddy. We prefer to refer to ourselves as men (in every sense of the word) who live according to the g0y philosophy.
Q 9a) Does this mean that they are simply gay men who don’t associate with the gay community and who don’t have sex with men?
A 9a: This question would be covered by the answer directly above. The problem is with the amorphous nature of the term “gay”. Bearing in mind that the original term is “homosexual” and the term “gay” is a slang word that developed later. What we need in order to get out of this quagmire is a paradigm shift with regards to the terminology used. Old labels are outdated and as Kinsey showed, simply do not address the complexity of male sexual orientation. We need to develop a habit of referring to Same Gender Attraction (SGA). And then we need to acknowledge that there are definite levels of SGA. Even if Kinsey never did his research, evidence for this abound. I remember being told by a gay friend how most gays dislike men who say they are bisexual. They are seen as “fence-sitters” refusing to choose a side and wanting their bread buttered on both sides. This is a shockingly ignorant view. A paradigm shift would also put an end to the absurdity where gays gossip whether so and so is gay cause they have a feeling or saw him somewhere or with someone etc etc and then militant gays do whatever they can to “out” so and so as gay. This kind of behaviour only adds to the rift between ordinary men with SGA and the gay community.
With this in mind the question would then be phrased as follows: “Does this mean that there are men who are attracted to men who don’t associate with the gay community and who don’t have sex with men?”
Even the word “sex” is problematic. Sex has a historic heterosexual connotation. And that was penetrative. Historically physical intimacy among men was generally non penetrative and those who did practice it were in the minority. 40 years ago a handful of gay liberationists, of whom I was one, confronted a smug, self-satisfied heterosexual establishment convinced that homosexuality, if not evil or sick, was, at best, an immature and adolescent behavior which the healthy inevitably outgrew. ... a new and rigorous definition of good gay sex appeared, in which the first three (oral sex, JO, frottage) were considered foreplay, and only the last (anal sex) regarded as the culminating, and therefore essential, gay sexual act. The cultural deathgrip that anal sex has on gay male life is so thorough that it's equal to the stranglehold that heterosex once had on all sexuality in America. 40years after Gay Lib first took on that smug, complacent group of social arbiters and moralists it called the Heterosexual Dictatorship, gay life is controlled by a Buttfuck Dictatorship.
The non-gay reader will not appreciate how difficult it is for a gay man to confess, even in 2012, that his preferred mode of sexual expression was to rub his erect cock against another man's, rather than to engage in anal intercourse. Yet that was the case with me for most of my adult life, despite a consensus that began to develop within the gay-male community not long after I came out that anal intercourse was the culminating male-male sexual act, and that anything less was at best just foreplay, if not sexually immature. I resisted this view; despite enormous pressure to conform, cock-rubbing remained at the heart of my sexual desire and practice. My allegiance to cock-rubbing probably prevented my becoming infected with HIV; and, more important to me, it was the defining sexual act of my relationship with my lover, Brett Averill.
Well that has changed and the gay community predominantly performs and promotes a pseudo-hetero-style of sex, using the rectum as a vagina proxy. With this in mind the answer to the rephrased question is YES.
And according to Freud, “sex” is defined as a touch. G0ys love touch and as much as possible skin on skin contact as possible. We involve our entire body when being physically intimate. But that is another topic altogether.
Q 10) ARE THERE G0Y MEN THAT HAVE SEX WITH MEN AND DOES THIS MEAN THEY CANNOT BE CONSIDERED G0Y?
A 10: It all depends on what you mean with the term “sex with men”. If you mean “AnalSex”, then the answer is simply: “G0YS do not engage in that practice by their very nature”. They might at best be straight-acting gay men.
Q 11) WHY THE LABEL TO BEGIN WITH? WHY THE SUBCULTURE SO TO SPEAK?
A 11: Ironically, g0ys is NOT the subculture. “GAY” is the subculture. Of the +68% of men who are attracted to men, fewer than 5% of them want anything to do with AnalSex.
Q 12) WOULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER THIS A SUBCULTURE OF THE GAY COMMUNITY OR A CULTURE ON IT'S OWN?
A 12: G0Y is the MAJORITY MALE EXPERIENCE. The numbers are there. Greeks knew this 3000 years ago (BTW: AnalSex was ILLEGAL there, then), from the biblical Old Testament we know the g0y love between king David and his friend Jonathon BTW: AnalSex was ILLEGAL there, too). Human nature doesn’t change. 68% men still are attracted to men - generally.
Q 13) IS THERE A FEMALE EQUIVALENT?
A 13: Sure…Women who won’t have AnalSex. LOL But seriously the g0y philosophy developed for men and I cannot talk for women. I am sure that somewhere there must be women who are feminine in every respect with great feminine qualities and character who have a similar aversion to butch, crass stereotype of lesbians in the public mind. They might not have organized themselves yet though. I have heard of “lipsticks” – could that be such women?
Q 14) DO G0Y MEN GET INTO RELATIONSHIP WITH MEN OR IS IT JUST AN ATTRACTION ON A PURELY OBSERVANT LEVEL?
A 14: See the answer to Q3 - G0YS place friendships as #1. Some of those get deeper based on the appreciation of male anatomy by the guys involved. It’s generally a very personal & private thing. It’s also what the term “Best” in “Best-friends” use to imply. Some g0ys higher on the Kinsey scale ie K5, K6 might eventually settle down with a best buddy. We do generally find the falling into and out of a relationship as seems to be so prevalent in the gay male community. The DIFFERENCES is that gay community in a r'ships play roles (male-female) and g0y community have status of equality (both are men)
Q 15) ARE THERE G0Y MEN WHO GET INTO R'SHIP WITH WOMAN AND DO THEY RECONCILE THEIR FEELINGS?
A 15: It should be quite clear then that g0y philosophy include all men in K1 - K6 range, including married ones and ones with girlfriends. Many g0ys are STRAIGHT identified (involved in marriage or exclusive relationships with women also) - but have these deep feelings for masculine affection nonetheless (whether ever acted upon or not). AmBisexuals are the most numerous among us! Men who love women and love men: +58% of the population.
G0y philosophy teaches men with SGA that they are totally normal and accepted. It then goes on to teach men how to express their SGA in a healthy way. Anything short of that is legalistic and will only serve to bring men back into bondage. It has to be said that it's imbalanced to seek sexual fulfilment outside of the goal of genuine friendship.
G0ys in hetero relationships do not pursue an intimate friendship with a buddy because they are bored with the woman in their life or seek to replace her with a male companion (like gays do), but because male intimacy meets a specific need in their male psyche and emotional makeup. Men and women are profoundly different and what each gender offers, complete an amBisexual man.
Q 16) DOES THE TERM G0Y FALL INTO THE SAME CATEGORIES OF ASSOCIATIONS AS GAY, BI AND STR8?
A 16: G0y is a philosophy of male sexuality and how to express that sexuality in a masculine, respectful, honorable and healthy way. G0YS are guys who happen to love men too or exclusively.
Q 16b) If yes, would you consider this to be something that is innate and born with, like sexuality?
A 16a: See answer to Q9 - As all men with SGA know – “I was born this way.” And as Kinsey pointed out, SGA is the majority experience 68+% of men experience SGA to various degrees.
Q 16b) If no, would you consider this to be a complete new form of ‘sexuality’ so to speak or how would you describe it?
A 16b: Not at all. G0Y perspective is ancient and was predominant in Greece 3000 years ago, Jewish culture 4500 years ago. And the g0y-like expression of their sexuality did not threaten the fabric of Greek society.
Q 17) ARE STR8 GUYS G0Y OR DOES A GUY NEED TO BE HOMOSEXUAL?
A 17: Quote from a leader in g0y philosophy: “A “str8 guy” who abstains from anal-sex with women meets g0y criteria (-minus an attraction for men). I’ve met very few “truly str8 men”. ALL of my g0y relationships have been with “str8” professing guys. Why? It’s because once you hit a certain level of friendship with another guy, he’ll generally open up to being tendered on by a buddy he trusts. Isn’t masturbation actually sex with somebody you intimately trust who happens to be the same gender as you?”
http://seven-pints.blogspot.com/?zx=774b450cc7fd470c" target="_blank In research done by Conran Thomas, he targeted heterosexual men. A quote from an interview with him: This (data) shows that at about 70% of our heterosexual respondents were at least open to the idea of allowing a guy to wank them and returning the favour.
From research such as the above, it is very evident that the Kinsey numbers were very conservative and that a far greater percentage of K0 men fall into the K1 – k6 brackets, pushing the numbers of men with SGA up to well over the estimated 68% as suggested by Kinsey and the vast majority of them would not want to be identified with what is today associated with the “gay” label.
Q 18) I READ THAT A LOT OF G0Y MEN DISASSOCIATE THEMSELVES FROM BEING GAY 'COZ THEY DON'T WANT TO BE FEMINIZED, BUT BEING GAY ISN'T ABOUT BEING FEMININE - WHERE DOES THIS FEAR COME FROM?
A 18: I would assert that “GAY” absolutely has become about bending gender (which is why “GAY” always seems to be lumped together with gender-identity issues). If there was a group of people who were always lumped together with people of another group, --wouldn’t you presume the 2 were similar in some way? So when your local “GDIT” (Gay, Dyke, INTERSEXED, TRANSEXUAL) group has its parade, what is the message about the grouping? G0YS already know that we are MAINSTREAM in the statistics. We choose not to associate with the “GDIT” group, or people might think we’re a minority thing based on gender dismorphia.
In spreading the g0y philosophy I have opportunity to speak to many men who identify as gay. Many of them have said to me that they cannot stand “fems” and that they themselves are not fem – even to the point where some would say that no-one would know they are gay. Yet most of them have feminine mannerisms (and these are men who call themselves “straight-acting”. Yet at the very moment of laying eyes on them it was obvious that they are gay. It seems to me that the actual “straight-acting” men in the gay community are a fractional percentage. I am a masculine man, and have never had a desire to be anything less than that.
There is no surprise then that masculine g0y men who are attracted to masculine men will not feel comfortable looking at the gay community for such men.
Q 19) THE TOPIC OF G0Y SEEMS TO BE SOMEWHAT COMPLICATED AND DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND - WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS?
A 19: This “confusion” you speak of is completely due to the misperceptions caused by the term “GAY”. G0YS are simply men of good conscience who happen to love other men/too & respect masculinity. Love works no ill. Having read through the responses to your questions above I am sure that there could be no confusion anymore.
Q 20) WHY ARE GUYS WHO ARE G0Y NOT VOCAL ABOUT IT? COULD IT BE SOCIETAL RESTRICITION PERHAPS?
A 20: People have their reasons why they speak up about certain issues. As a result, g0ys may get more or less voice depending on the individual g0y & the circumstances they are in. However, the posturing of your basic g0y-guy is going to be more discrete in person because the spectre of the “gay” community has created lots of prejudices & stereotypes that g0ys often find themselves needing to overcome.
One essay-writer recounted: “One of my earliest experiences was with a guy named Johann -who had come to our School (in the USA) from an eastern country. He was quiet, athletic, friendly & appalled at (2) things: (1) How the "Gay" community tainted the perception of close male friendships. (2) How forming the types of friendships that were commonplace in his home country were eyed suspiciously because of "GAY" stereotypes & the innuendos around them.
Q 21: WHY MAINSTREAM IS SO QUITE ABOUT G0Y ISSUE AND THEY TALK ABOUT GAY ISSUE?
A 21: G0y men don't need mainstream to speak about them, they won't to be like monkey in the cage. In other hand - porn industry and pseudo (popular) psychology push mainstream to talk about gay issue. With background like that it's easy to be in top news as good or bad news.
autohomofobija ftw.
Q 1) WHAT IS G0Y AND WHERE DID THE TERM ORIGINATE?
A 1: The G0y word originates from old jewish word g'y (goy) means attracted by the men. The g0y movement was created as a departure from stereotype; A term was needed that had some meaning behind it, while being simple enough for people to remember; plus stir some curiosity.
G0YS (Spelled with a ZER0) are guys who find men physically & emotionally attractive, but are offended with the stigmas that currently define the 'gay community' in the public psyche. G0YS recognize that the prominent facets of the "gay-male" community tend to embrace every gender-bending act, fetish & affectation. G0YS reject those associations completely & consider it a form of gender-prejudice against men who love men.
Behaviorally: Anal-sex is innately shunned by g0ys - as it represents the ultimate form of sexual disrespect whether male/male or male/female. Other distasteful stereotypes include (but are not limited to): Effeminate behavior, extreme passivity (like cowardice) & drag. G0YS don't call other men "girl", "bitch", "queen", etc.
The scarab is not our mascot. G0YS don't play in shit, -nor do we lust after it's origin. It really is that simple. The thing that represents itself as the "GAY-male paradigm" is one of the most dirty, debased movements on the planet and they have the disease statistics proving that assertion beyond any shadow of a doubt!" – G0y Veh (Founding member)
G0Y guys are guys who are all about masculine respect, pride & integrity; & we believe it’s disrespectful for a guy to play the female role or expect of his buddy to play the female role.
Q 2) HOW IS G0Y PRONOUNCED?
A 2: Rhymes with Boy & Toy
Q 3) WHAT IS THE DIFFERENTIATION BETWEEN G0Y and GAY?
A 3: G0Y places a zer0 where the “A” in “GAY” is. Why? Because: WORD MEANINGS CAN CHANGE.
'When people began to use the term "GAY", it primarily meant "Same-Gender-Attracted". G0YS have no issue with that original, simple meaning. However, over time, the term has taken on lots of associated baggage as a result of stigmas from stereotypes - many aggressively & shamelessly promoted in the "GAY MALE COMMUNITY" itself. It is one thing to be slurred by "outsiders"; however, the bulk of Gay-male stigmas are promoted as "gay-culture" from within the "gay-male demographic".
The current general use of the term now brings a series of images to people's minds that actually have nothing to do with simple Same Gender Attractions (but are now inseparably welded to the word in the public psyche). The use has become so distorted over time -that saying "gay-sex" is now generally presumed as synonymous w. "anal-sex" (even the mass-media regularly interchanges the two). Not only does the "GAY COMMUNITY" seem "ok" with that stereotype, but heavily promotes it -& many others just as debased.
As a result, G0YS find the current use of the term "GAY" to be vulgar, & acutely repugnant to our ethos. Our disrespect of the term reflects our feelings about the contemporary implications (implied stigmas/stereotypes); -not a disdain for the original (simplistic) use. Please bear this in mind whenever you see any g0y commentary critical of "GAY".'
Q 4) WHAT MAKES SOMEONE G0Y?
A 4: Generally, if they relate strongly to the explanation to question 3. It has to be said that g0y is NOT a sexual orientation but a philosophy according to which a man with Same Gender Attraction (SGA) lives his sexuality. He either relates to the philosophy and embraces it or not.
Q 5) WHERE IS THE LINE BETWEEN G0Y AND GAY?
A 5: Generally, the response to question 3. In addition g0y is about the deep connection between dudes. That connection begins as a friendship that gradually deepens to the point where defences come down & inhibitions drop as a bond of powerful affection grows - often beside an appreciation of each guy's masculine traits & physique. Sharing laughter, deep conversation & personal issues - likewise is often a strong step toward intimacy between a couple of men, reaching a point of trust where sharing touch, nakedness & mutual climax is the ultimate bond of intimacy between 2 buds.
There is a place in the heart of most men where they want affirmation from other strong, masculine men that affirms them as men & does not threaten their masculine core. G0y philosophy is beginning to uncover the difference in the feelings between the depths of masculinity vs. the petty vindictiveness of effeminate thoughts, acts & lifestyles that have come to dominate the gay male community. Being g0y is about the deep connection. Being g0y is about loving the wholeness of the other guy so much that the barrier to touch, closeness & emotional intimacy dissolve.
Because of the above g0ys generally do not find their buddies at bath houses, cruise bars and who knows what other hook-up/pick up venue. G0ys meet their buddies during normal everyday activities i.e. at work, outdoor or sports clubs, gym, church, social gatherings etc.
Q 6) HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AND WHY? WHAT INFLUENCED THE DECISION?
A 6: You see yourself as a masculine man who happens to be attracted to men also. In terms of my SGA you can take your place from K0 till K6 on the Kinsey scale ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale" target="_blank ). You live your sexuality according to the g0y philosophy WHY? Well because it’s how your moral and spiritual constitution interacts with your sexuality.
Q 7) G0Y GUYS DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY, WHY IS THIS?
A 7: Explained again by the response to questions 1, 3 and 5, but let me be even more specific and even blunt. This is a quote by prominent gay activist Larry Kramer, now 76 y/o and living with AIDS: "Does it occur to you that we brought this plague of AIDS upon ourselves? I know I am getting into dangerous waters here but it is time. With the cabal breathing even more murderously down our backs it is time. And you are still doing it. You are still murdering each other. Please stop with all the generalizations and avoidance excuses gays have used since the beginning to ditch this responsibility for this fact. From the very first moment we were told in 1981. that the suspected cause was a virus, gay men have refused to accept our responsibility for choosing not to listen, and, starting in 1984., when we were told it definitely was a virus, this behavior turned murderous. Make whatever excuses you can to carry on living in your state of denial but this is the fact of the matter. I wish we could understand and take some responsibility for the fact that for some 30 years we have been murdering each other with great facility and that down deep inside of us, we knew what we were doing. Don't tell me you have never had sex without thinking down deep that there was more involved in what you were doing than just maintaining a hard-on. I have recently gone through my diaries of the worst of the plague years. I saw day after day a notation of another friend's death. I listed all the ones I'd slept with. There were a couple hundred. Was it my sperm that killed them, that did the trick? It is no longer possible for me to avoid this question of myself. Have you ever wondered how many men you killed? I know I murdered some of them. I just know. You know how you sometimes know things? I know. Several hundred over a bunch of years, I have to have murdered some of them, planting in him the original seed." - Larry Kramer for CNN December 1st 2011.
It is the gay male community itself, and with the help of the gay porn industry, who have made Same Gender Attraction and man2man physical intimacy synonymous with anal sex. An unnatural and debasing act which increases the risk of contracting a STD by +5000%, compared to any other form of sexual contact, according to the CDC and WHO.
In a recent 365Gay.com column, safer sex educator James Murray related the frightening story of a man who had contracted gonorrhoea anally. The gonorrhoea got into his bloodstream and he required intravenous treatments in a hospital.
Fortunately, the man recovered, and James devoted the rest of the column to examining the possible causes of the infection, including a lapse in condom use, and discussing ways in which the man might safely "still enjoy his butt" and "casual gay sex." Is anal sex worth propping up in this way? I think that upon reasoned examination we can see that it's not, for the truth is that in terms of both pleasure and risk, anal sex is a dubious practice to maintain at the centre of our sexual culture.
First of all, there's a pronounced pleasure inequality in anal sex, particularly for the person being penetrated, the so-called bottom.Gayhealth.com makes two telling statements about what he feels. The first is that "the anus is not a vagina," by which gayhealth.com means that the anus is not an organ of sexual pleasure. And, gayhealth.com goes on to say, the pleasure for the bottom is, therefore, "psychological."
Which I would suggest is a polite term for "imaginary."
Because of all this things g0ys stand separate from the gay community and show an alternative philosophy re male sexuality and how a man can live his sexuality with dignity, pride, respect and integrity, while upholding the motto “love works no ill”.
Q 8) IS G0Y MASCULINITY OR MORE ABOUT BEING DISASSOCIATED WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY?
A 8: Yes – to both parts. There is an essay on the g0ys site that explains it like this: “G0YS bring clarity & sanity to a group of men who know the difference between loving their buddies vs. fukk'n an arse”. This statement might seem quite offensive to some, but in many discussions with gay men I’ve found that they reject g0y philosophy based solely on our rejection of anal sex. G0y philosophy is a 3 stranded chord woven together. The 1st strand is respect for masculinity – which includes the physical traits (well looked after, toned and healthy physique) as well as character traits (honour, valour, integrity etc). The 2nd strand is friendship first - physical intimacy with a buddy flows from a deep and intimate connection and not a random hook-up driven by a need to get off. The 3rd strand is Love works no ill – and it captures the concept that nothing in the expression of our love for our buddy will bring harm (physical, emotional or spiritual) to him or me.
Clearly this stands in sharp contrast with the following blog excerpt by gay porn director, Michael Lucas. An excerpt from: http://www.lucasblog.com/archives/2005/" target="_blank … html#more: “It happens to the best of us: at one point or another, we’ve all been painted brown. Oh yes, I’m talking shit today, baby! I’ve been there. You’ve been there. We’ve all been there (either as a top or a bottom). All of a sudden, what was a hot fuck turns into a smelly embarrassment. Your nose starts to wrinkle and it hits you—first the smell, then the utter humiliation. You know that pulling out now could be disastrous. What do you do? Do you acknowledge the fact that your dick is covered with shit? Do you say something? Or do you continue to fuck, ignoring the big brown elephant that’s just squatted in the middle of the room? (Some of you might actually find this sort of stuff exciting, but that’s a whole other blog topic).”
G0YS need to call it as it is - while sharing the message that there is a distinct choice for guys who love their buds while feeling an aversion away from "gay".
Q 9) THERE ARE G0Y MEN WHO ARE 100% GAY; HOW DOES THIS WORK?
A 9: Your use of the term “gay” shows the problem with the term. Remember in Q3 we started to explain that word meanings can change over time. Let us assume you mean Same Gender Attracted (SGA) when you used the term gay. Then we can explain it according to the Kinsey research.
For us Kinsey's research was revolutionary. It is the definitive authority on male sexual orientation. His findings completely shattered the notion that men are divided into 2 camps i.e. heterosexual vs homosexual. Instead sexual orientation is spread out on a scale from 0 to 6 according to the level of Same Gender Attraction - 0 being fully heterosexual and 6 fully homosexual. 58+% of men fall in the 1 - 5 bracket. Add to it the 10% K6 bracket and you find that a whopping 68+% of men have Same Gender Attraction - that is 2 out of every 3 men! So the majority of men are a Bisexual – 58+%. This is also reflected in g0y men, the majority are a Bisexual. The guys in your question fall in the K6 bracket of sexual attraction and they live and express their sexuality according to the g0y philosophy.
This is important to g0y philosophy because it says to us that it is completely normal and natural for a man to have Same Gender Attraction and that one does not have to choose a "side". SGA is a natural part of male sexuality. This truth brings enormous relief to the guy who felt conflicted and guilt for experiencing SGA but also felt that he could not choose as he does not belong in either of the 2 end brackets.
So g0y then offers a philosophy of male sexuality and the expression of that sexuality in a dignified respectful way that honours the masculinity in your buddy. We prefer to refer to ourselves as men (in every sense of the word) who live according to the g0y philosophy.
Q 9a) Does this mean that they are simply gay men who don’t associate with the gay community and who don’t have sex with men?
A 9a: This question would be covered by the answer directly above. The problem is with the amorphous nature of the term “gay”. Bearing in mind that the original term is “homosexual” and the term “gay” is a slang word that developed later. What we need in order to get out of this quagmire is a paradigm shift with regards to the terminology used. Old labels are outdated and as Kinsey showed, simply do not address the complexity of male sexual orientation. We need to develop a habit of referring to Same Gender Attraction (SGA). And then we need to acknowledge that there are definite levels of SGA. Even if Kinsey never did his research, evidence for this abound. I remember being told by a gay friend how most gays dislike men who say they are bisexual. They are seen as “fence-sitters” refusing to choose a side and wanting their bread buttered on both sides. This is a shockingly ignorant view. A paradigm shift would also put an end to the absurdity where gays gossip whether so and so is gay cause they have a feeling or saw him somewhere or with someone etc etc and then militant gays do whatever they can to “out” so and so as gay. This kind of behaviour only adds to the rift between ordinary men with SGA and the gay community.
With this in mind the question would then be phrased as follows: “Does this mean that there are men who are attracted to men who don’t associate with the gay community and who don’t have sex with men?”
Even the word “sex” is problematic. Sex has a historic heterosexual connotation. And that was penetrative. Historically physical intimacy among men was generally non penetrative and those who did practice it were in the minority. 40 years ago a handful of gay liberationists, of whom I was one, confronted a smug, self-satisfied heterosexual establishment convinced that homosexuality, if not evil or sick, was, at best, an immature and adolescent behavior which the healthy inevitably outgrew. ... a new and rigorous definition of good gay sex appeared, in which the first three (oral sex, JO, frottage) were considered foreplay, and only the last (anal sex) regarded as the culminating, and therefore essential, gay sexual act. The cultural deathgrip that anal sex has on gay male life is so thorough that it's equal to the stranglehold that heterosex once had on all sexuality in America. 40years after Gay Lib first took on that smug, complacent group of social arbiters and moralists it called the Heterosexual Dictatorship, gay life is controlled by a Buttfuck Dictatorship.
The non-gay reader will not appreciate how difficult it is for a gay man to confess, even in 2012, that his preferred mode of sexual expression was to rub his erect cock against another man's, rather than to engage in anal intercourse. Yet that was the case with me for most of my adult life, despite a consensus that began to develop within the gay-male community not long after I came out that anal intercourse was the culminating male-male sexual act, and that anything less was at best just foreplay, if not sexually immature. I resisted this view; despite enormous pressure to conform, cock-rubbing remained at the heart of my sexual desire and practice. My allegiance to cock-rubbing probably prevented my becoming infected with HIV; and, more important to me, it was the defining sexual act of my relationship with my lover, Brett Averill.
Well that has changed and the gay community predominantly performs and promotes a pseudo-hetero-style of sex, using the rectum as a vagina proxy. With this in mind the answer to the rephrased question is YES.
And according to Freud, “sex” is defined as a touch. G0ys love touch and as much as possible skin on skin contact as possible. We involve our entire body when being physically intimate. But that is another topic altogether.
Q 10) ARE THERE G0Y MEN THAT HAVE SEX WITH MEN AND DOES THIS MEAN THEY CANNOT BE CONSIDERED G0Y?
A 10: It all depends on what you mean with the term “sex with men”. If you mean “AnalSex”, then the answer is simply: “G0YS do not engage in that practice by their very nature”. They might at best be straight-acting gay men.
Q 11) WHY THE LABEL TO BEGIN WITH? WHY THE SUBCULTURE SO TO SPEAK?
A 11: Ironically, g0ys is NOT the subculture. “GAY” is the subculture. Of the +68% of men who are attracted to men, fewer than 5% of them want anything to do with AnalSex.
Q 12) WOULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER THIS A SUBCULTURE OF THE GAY COMMUNITY OR A CULTURE ON IT'S OWN?
A 12: G0Y is the MAJORITY MALE EXPERIENCE. The numbers are there. Greeks knew this 3000 years ago (BTW: AnalSex was ILLEGAL there, then), from the biblical Old Testament we know the g0y love between king David and his friend Jonathon BTW: AnalSex was ILLEGAL there, too). Human nature doesn’t change. 68% men still are attracted to men - generally.
Q 13) IS THERE A FEMALE EQUIVALENT?
A 13: Sure…Women who won’t have AnalSex. LOL But seriously the g0y philosophy developed for men and I cannot talk for women. I am sure that somewhere there must be women who are feminine in every respect with great feminine qualities and character who have a similar aversion to butch, crass stereotype of lesbians in the public mind. They might not have organized themselves yet though. I have heard of “lipsticks” – could that be such women?
Q 14) DO G0Y MEN GET INTO RELATIONSHIP WITH MEN OR IS IT JUST AN ATTRACTION ON A PURELY OBSERVANT LEVEL?
A 14: See the answer to Q3 - G0YS place friendships as #1. Some of those get deeper based on the appreciation of male anatomy by the guys involved. It’s generally a very personal & private thing. It’s also what the term “Best” in “Best-friends” use to imply. Some g0ys higher on the Kinsey scale ie K5, K6 might eventually settle down with a best buddy. We do generally find the falling into and out of a relationship as seems to be so prevalent in the gay male community. The DIFFERENCES is that gay community in a r'ships play roles (male-female) and g0y community have status of equality (both are men)
Q 15) ARE THERE G0Y MEN WHO GET INTO R'SHIP WITH WOMAN AND DO THEY RECONCILE THEIR FEELINGS?
A 15: It should be quite clear then that g0y philosophy include all men in K1 - K6 range, including married ones and ones with girlfriends. Many g0ys are STRAIGHT identified (involved in marriage or exclusive relationships with women also) - but have these deep feelings for masculine affection nonetheless (whether ever acted upon or not). AmBisexuals are the most numerous among us! Men who love women and love men: +58% of the population.
G0y philosophy teaches men with SGA that they are totally normal and accepted. It then goes on to teach men how to express their SGA in a healthy way. Anything short of that is legalistic and will only serve to bring men back into bondage. It has to be said that it's imbalanced to seek sexual fulfilment outside of the goal of genuine friendship.
G0ys in hetero relationships do not pursue an intimate friendship with a buddy because they are bored with the woman in their life or seek to replace her with a male companion (like gays do), but because male intimacy meets a specific need in their male psyche and emotional makeup. Men and women are profoundly different and what each gender offers, complete an amBisexual man.
Q 16) DOES THE TERM G0Y FALL INTO THE SAME CATEGORIES OF ASSOCIATIONS AS GAY, BI AND STR8?
A 16: G0y is a philosophy of male sexuality and how to express that sexuality in a masculine, respectful, honorable and healthy way. G0YS are guys who happen to love men too or exclusively.
Q 16b) If yes, would you consider this to be something that is innate and born with, like sexuality?
A 16a: See answer to Q9 - As all men with SGA know – “I was born this way.” And as Kinsey pointed out, SGA is the majority experience 68+% of men experience SGA to various degrees.
Q 16b) If no, would you consider this to be a complete new form of ‘sexuality’ so to speak or how would you describe it?
A 16b: Not at all. G0Y perspective is ancient and was predominant in Greece 3000 years ago, Jewish culture 4500 years ago. And the g0y-like expression of their sexuality did not threaten the fabric of Greek society.
Q 17) ARE STR8 GUYS G0Y OR DOES A GUY NEED TO BE HOMOSEXUAL?
A 17: Quote from a leader in g0y philosophy: “A “str8 guy” who abstains from anal-sex with women meets g0y criteria (-minus an attraction for men). I’ve met very few “truly str8 men”. ALL of my g0y relationships have been with “str8” professing guys. Why? It’s because once you hit a certain level of friendship with another guy, he’ll generally open up to being tendered on by a buddy he trusts. Isn’t masturbation actually sex with somebody you intimately trust who happens to be the same gender as you?”
http://seven-pints.blogspot.com/?zx=774b450cc7fd470c" target="_blank In research done by Conran Thomas, he targeted heterosexual men. A quote from an interview with him: This (data) shows that at about 70% of our heterosexual respondents were at least open to the idea of allowing a guy to wank them and returning the favour.
From research such as the above, it is very evident that the Kinsey numbers were very conservative and that a far greater percentage of K0 men fall into the K1 – k6 brackets, pushing the numbers of men with SGA up to well over the estimated 68% as suggested by Kinsey and the vast majority of them would not want to be identified with what is today associated with the “gay” label.
Q 18) I READ THAT A LOT OF G0Y MEN DISASSOCIATE THEMSELVES FROM BEING GAY 'COZ THEY DON'T WANT TO BE FEMINIZED, BUT BEING GAY ISN'T ABOUT BEING FEMININE - WHERE DOES THIS FEAR COME FROM?
A 18: I would assert that “GAY” absolutely has become about bending gender (which is why “GAY” always seems to be lumped together with gender-identity issues). If there was a group of people who were always lumped together with people of another group, --wouldn’t you presume the 2 were similar in some way? So when your local “GDIT” (Gay, Dyke, INTERSEXED, TRANSEXUAL) group has its parade, what is the message about the grouping? G0YS already know that we are MAINSTREAM in the statistics. We choose not to associate with the “GDIT” group, or people might think we’re a minority thing based on gender dismorphia.
In spreading the g0y philosophy I have opportunity to speak to many men who identify as gay. Many of them have said to me that they cannot stand “fems” and that they themselves are not fem – even to the point where some would say that no-one would know they are gay. Yet most of them have feminine mannerisms (and these are men who call themselves “straight-acting”. Yet at the very moment of laying eyes on them it was obvious that they are gay. It seems to me that the actual “straight-acting” men in the gay community are a fractional percentage. I am a masculine man, and have never had a desire to be anything less than that.
There is no surprise then that masculine g0y men who are attracted to masculine men will not feel comfortable looking at the gay community for such men.
Q 19) THE TOPIC OF G0Y SEEMS TO BE SOMEWHAT COMPLICATED AND DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND - WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS?
A 19: This “confusion” you speak of is completely due to the misperceptions caused by the term “GAY”. G0YS are simply men of good conscience who happen to love other men/too & respect masculinity. Love works no ill. Having read through the responses to your questions above I am sure that there could be no confusion anymore.
Q 20) WHY ARE GUYS WHO ARE G0Y NOT VOCAL ABOUT IT? COULD IT BE SOCIETAL RESTRICITION PERHAPS?
A 20: People have their reasons why they speak up about certain issues. As a result, g0ys may get more or less voice depending on the individual g0y & the circumstances they are in. However, the posturing of your basic g0y-guy is going to be more discrete in person because the spectre of the “gay” community has created lots of prejudices & stereotypes that g0ys often find themselves needing to overcome.
One essay-writer recounted: “One of my earliest experiences was with a guy named Johann -who had come to our School (in the USA) from an eastern country. He was quiet, athletic, friendly & appalled at (2) things: (1) How the "Gay" community tainted the perception of close male friendships. (2) How forming the types of friendships that were commonplace in his home country were eyed suspiciously because of "GAY" stereotypes & the innuendos around them.
Q 21: WHY MAINSTREAM IS SO QUITE ABOUT G0Y ISSUE AND THEY TALK ABOUT GAY ISSUE?
A 21: G0y men don't need mainstream to speak about them, they won't to be like monkey in the cage. In other hand - porn industry and pseudo (popular) psychology push mainstream to talk about gay issue. With background like that it's easy to be in top news as good or bad news.
autohomofobija ftw.
