- 22 Maj 2007, 11:27
#803761
Odavde:<click>
I was fourteen the first time I saw Chasing Amy.
Fourteen, a sophomore in high school, living in Buffalo.
I don’t think I fully appreciated the movie at the time. I liked it, sure, but a whole lot of it went over my head. A lot of it didn’t really resonate: couldn’t really resonate, because I didn’t have any experiences to compare the movie to. It was a fantasy, a (sad) love story, a movie.
It’s been almost ten years since I saw Chasing Amy. Not surprisingly, a great deal has changed about my life in those ten years: at twenty-four, I’m an accomplished sex educator and former altporn star with more than a few sexual experiences under my belt. And every time I launch myself into the world of dating, every time I meet someone I really like, I find my thoughts turning back to the tale of Chasing Amy.
For those who haven’t seen the movie, the plot line is relatively simple: straight boy meets lesbian. Straight boy falls for lesbian. After some drama and negotiation, straight boy dates lesbian… and eventually learns that, in spite of her lesbian identity, she’s got an extensive history of heterosexual sex, including some group sex experience. Straight boy freaks out, relationship goes down the tubes. The end.
Years ago, at a family function, I found myself chatting up my cousin’s cousin. We’d bonded as teenagers, and I felt as though I had some kind of connection with him: this may have been why I told him that I was in an open relationship.
I immediately regretted revealing that piece of information. His face changed, and I could tell he was reevaluating his opinion of me. “You know,” he said, “Guys don’t like girls who are too experienced.”
So I’ve been told.
I’m of two minds about discussing my sexual history with potential partners. On the one hand, I believe in honesty: and the idealistic part of me wants to say that anyone who would judge me based on my past is not worth dating. The idealistic part of me wants to say that “the one” will be able to accept me, regardless of what I’ve done, regardless of the places I’ve been.
On the other hand: I’m terrified that I’ll meet “the one”… and “the one” won’t be able to handle the number of notches on my bedpost, “the one” will think I’ve taken it one kink too far, “the one” will be all sorts of hung up on things I did when I was eighteen and self-destructive, things I haven’t even thought about in years.
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Ja potpuno razumem o cemu ovaj covek prica. Ne, nisam porn star, niti imam ne znam kakav broj recki, ali sam dozivela par puta goreopisanu reakciju kada bih rekla cicama za neke stvari koje sam (u)radila. Mislim da mi ni sati razgovora nisu pomogli...
U svakom slucaju, kontam da je to negde bilo uzrok raspada nekih mojih veza, ili pokusaja da ostvarim iste.
Da li se vama desilo nesto slicno? Da li vas je neko odbacio, distancirao se zbog necega sto ste uradili nekad davno, zbog neceg iz proslosti?
Da li ste vi bili u situaciji da vas neko s kim izazite ili ste u vezi shokira tako necim? Kako ste odreagovali?
Da li ste ikad odustali od nekoga zbog njegove reputacije ili necega sto je uradio (davno pre nego sto vas je upoznao), a zatim bio dovoljno iskren da vam za to kaze?
I na kraju da li mislite da je bolje reci istinu iako postoji realna mogucnost da izgubite nekoga do koga vam je stalo, ili je bolje precutati neke detalje kao deo proslosti koja je za vama?
I was fourteen the first time I saw Chasing Amy.
Fourteen, a sophomore in high school, living in Buffalo.
I don’t think I fully appreciated the movie at the time. I liked it, sure, but a whole lot of it went over my head. A lot of it didn’t really resonate: couldn’t really resonate, because I didn’t have any experiences to compare the movie to. It was a fantasy, a (sad) love story, a movie.
It’s been almost ten years since I saw Chasing Amy. Not surprisingly, a great deal has changed about my life in those ten years: at twenty-four, I’m an accomplished sex educator and former altporn star with more than a few sexual experiences under my belt. And every time I launch myself into the world of dating, every time I meet someone I really like, I find my thoughts turning back to the tale of Chasing Amy.
For those who haven’t seen the movie, the plot line is relatively simple: straight boy meets lesbian. Straight boy falls for lesbian. After some drama and negotiation, straight boy dates lesbian… and eventually learns that, in spite of her lesbian identity, she’s got an extensive history of heterosexual sex, including some group sex experience. Straight boy freaks out, relationship goes down the tubes. The end.
Years ago, at a family function, I found myself chatting up my cousin’s cousin. We’d bonded as teenagers, and I felt as though I had some kind of connection with him: this may have been why I told him that I was in an open relationship.
I immediately regretted revealing that piece of information. His face changed, and I could tell he was reevaluating his opinion of me. “You know,” he said, “Guys don’t like girls who are too experienced.”
So I’ve been told.
I’m of two minds about discussing my sexual history with potential partners. On the one hand, I believe in honesty: and the idealistic part of me wants to say that anyone who would judge me based on my past is not worth dating. The idealistic part of me wants to say that “the one” will be able to accept me, regardless of what I’ve done, regardless of the places I’ve been.
On the other hand: I’m terrified that I’ll meet “the one”… and “the one” won’t be able to handle the number of notches on my bedpost, “the one” will think I’ve taken it one kink too far, “the one” will be all sorts of hung up on things I did when I was eighteen and self-destructive, things I haven’t even thought about in years.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ja potpuno razumem o cemu ovaj covek prica. Ne, nisam porn star, niti imam ne znam kakav broj recki, ali sam dozivela par puta goreopisanu reakciju kada bih rekla cicama za neke stvari koje sam (u)radila. Mislim da mi ni sati razgovora nisu pomogli...
U svakom slucaju, kontam da je to negde bilo uzrok raspada nekih mojih veza, ili pokusaja da ostvarim iste.
Da li se vama desilo nesto slicno? Da li vas je neko odbacio, distancirao se zbog necega sto ste uradili nekad davno, zbog neceg iz proslosti?
Da li ste vi bili u situaciji da vas neko s kim izazite ili ste u vezi shokira tako necim? Kako ste odreagovali?
Da li ste ikad odustali od nekoga zbog njegove reputacije ili necega sto je uradio (davno pre nego sto vas je upoznao), a zatim bio dovoljno iskren da vam za to kaze?
I na kraju da li mislite da je bolje reci istinu iako postoji realna mogucnost da izgubite nekoga do koga vam je stalo, ili je bolje precutati neke detalje kao deo proslosti koja je za vama?