My personal report regarding the Pride Day in Serbia

On Saturday, June 30th, I woke up with a feeling of excitement - I knew that a historical day was beginning, not only in my life but also for LGBT population in Yugoslavia and for all humanism-oriented people. After the hard work on organizing the Gay Pride Day celebration (the main organizers were: Labris - Group for Lesbian Human Rights and Gayten-LGBT – Center for Promotion and Development of LGBT Human Rights, the organization I belong to), I was concerned about my facilitation of the second of the panels on program, titled "Gay and Lesbian Alternative: Uneasiness in the Culture", and also about singing the gay hymn "I Will Survive" at the opening of the ceremony. Of course I was aware of the threats and the possibility of incidents, still I was reassuring myself by the facts that our event was regularly registered at the police and that police accepted to safeguard it, and also that there were informed about the threats which we've been receiving.

The most visible of the threats was a poster that was plastered all over Belgrade several days ago. It read: "Prevent the spreading of Christian immorality and perverse orgy." No sponsoring organization's name was printed on the poster. So much about the courage and morality of those who came up with these and put them up. Pro-Christian organization "Obraz" (rough translation: chastity), (see their website and the death threat to the enemies. Listed are: Jews, Albanians, Croats, Bosnians, democrats, perverts, etc. Serbian Orthodox Church has not yet publicly announced their attitude toward this organization) announced a counter demonstration to our celebration, but by law the police could not approve it. "Obraz" publicly abandoned counter-meeting (which I consider an attempted political trick), but the other organizations and groups maintained their public threats. Furthermore, we were informed that Radical Party leaders invited their supporters to thwart our celebration. As organizers, we came up with alternate strategies in case of incidents (primarily based on non-conflict communication, together with a plan for changing the positions).

At 3:00 PM sharp I met with a friend on the Square of the Republic in Belgrade expecting to see rainbow flags, colorful balloons, and my friends, as well as many LGBT people and our straight friends and supporters. Instead of that, the flags of the Radical Party and the national flag were waving in the Square of the Republic, and a group of over 1.000. (mostly men) was shouting nationalistic, fascistic slogans "Faggots are Serbia's shame!" "God's garden has everything and we came to weed it out!" "Faggots should be slaughtered!" as well as slogans used by soccer fans, "Forward, virtuous!". In addition, I noticed placards with similar content and members of Parents Forum (this organization requested withholding permission for our celebration), representatives of the Serbian Orthodox Church, the fans of soccer teams, "Crvena Zvezda", "Rad" and "Partizan" also young men, who by their appearance should belong to the Skinheads (Serbian Skinhead organization "Krv i cast" (“Blood and Honor”) announced in the newspaper Nedeljni Telegraf their hatred and threats toward homosexual, Roma people, Albanians, Croats, and many others, including even President Kostunica) and by the shouts it could have been supposed that members of the organizations "Obraz" and "Justin" (also pro-Christian organization) were present. The police were positioned at several points, obviously in small numbers for such a huge number of attackers. Until the policemen were attacked themselves, they almost did not react. How was it possible to allow such a large number of attackers to gather at the location designated for our celebration, what were they waiting to react to, what was their assessment of the situation...

Although I have been an activist for LGBT rights for quite some time, and a coordinator of Gayten-LGBT, one of the main organizers of the Gay Pride Day, I did not feel fear. In the turmoil that occurred after 3:00 PM, a group of several hundred men in complete exultation ran towards the National Museum building (which is also located on the Square of the Republic) and started maniacally shouting characteristic slogans and beating up several young men. I tried to approach but it was impossible. At that point, it became clear to me that our celebration of pride, love, diversity, and tolerance was being transformed into a manic melee of fascists, hooligans, extreme rightists, and nationalists. Together with a friend, also an activist of Gayten-LGBT, I started searching in all directions, hoping to find friends. I came across a torn colorful balloon caterpillar (made a day earlier at Labris’ space for our celebration) and our flag. The mass of attackers continued shouting, running, beating, and I noticed some new attackers arriving. At that point, it was of the highest importance for me to find Lepa Mladjenovic, one of our most prominent activists for LGBT and women's rights, I was in fear for her life, and I was desperately trying to find her. Just then the stampede occurred: a group of 1000 attackers started running towards the Army Center building. As they were chasing several young men, the police finally stood in front of the unleashed mass and started shooting in the air. I saw a large number of journalists also running at the forefront of the surging furious mass. The attackers were throwing bottles, eggs, stones, and clubs at the police and citizens that were running away in front of them. I witnessed a policeman being hit by a rock on his head. Complete chaos took over. I returned to the Square of the Republic where I met two friends from Labris, as well as Natasa Kandic from the Humanitarian Law Center. We managed to reach some friends by cell phone and several of us gathered in front of "Inex" cafe. I heard that Lepa Mladjenovic is well and safe. Then unleashed attackers began returning to the Square. At all times a majority of the bypassers and citizens were rooting for the aggressors and shouting slogans such as: "Well-done -- that's what they deserve," "Kill the faggot," etc.

Then a new development occurred which was very threatening for my life: the TV crew 3Kanal was searching to interview an attack victim and a woman unknown to me started shouting: "Come on, give an interview as a representative of the organizers." Later on, surrounded with my friends, I realized I could have been killed, but everything ended up well for me. The hatred towards gay men is even more pronounced in this society, more than towards lesbians (according to research and every day experience). I managed to explain that I was not capable of giving an interview at that moment, and a friend of mine, a psychologist, an activist with "Zenski Centar" (the Women's Center) and "Glas razlike" (The Voice of Difference), and a heterosexual, asked me whether I wanted her to be interviewed as an ordinary citizen. I left it up to her to make a decision and then I saw her starting to talk in front of the cameras. From the moment I had realized how poorly the police safeguarded our event and how many attackers were present at the square and the surrounding streets, any of my friends that I came across and anyone who seemed to me as LGBT I instructed to either go home or to head towards "Studenski Kulturni Centar-SKC" (the Student Cultural Center) where the second part of the manifestation (two panels, a concert, and a party) should have started at 5:00 PM. After only a few sentences in front of 3Kanal's camera, my friend was started being continuously pelted with eggs, water, and spit. In addition, the unleashed group of men started shouting, "It cannot be happening here," "Get lost, you whore, go bear children," and "Sick to the sick house." Several friends approached and formed a group. At the other side, a large group of men began pushing, kicking, hitting, and spitting at us. A woman more then 70 years old stood in between the attackers and the group. A group of 4-5 police officers was standing several yards away without reacting. Even though we urged them to fulfill their responsibilities, their responses were: "Why would we be protecting them?" and similar. One of the friends approached them and begged them to do something. The policemen stood still. The mass of attackers started unifying again and running toward us. I am trying to move aside the old women (Lepa’s mother, I am trying to convince her that she is safe) and I see that in the middle of the new furious stampede the phenomenal Jasmina Tesanovic (writer, supporter of LGBT movement, a friend, and -- if it is at all important -- a heterosexual, "I am a political lesbian"–J.T.) has been interviewed for TV, pointing at the fascists, in the next scene I see that my friends are lying bloodied on the ground. Again the chaos sets in. I cannot see anymore where they are. I decide to head towards SKC (4:20 PM). I was aware and I heard attackers saying that they would come and destroy SKC. Bomb threats were also heard. On my way to SKC, I am listening to "regular citizens" who are on the attackers' side. Then I am running into Jasmina and Slavica and several other friends and we are walking together towards SKC. Some people are spitting at us, verbally abusing us, pushing us ­– this time "ordinary citizens", since the majority of attackers stayed at the Square. As we walk, we see the young men calling each other and running towards the Square shouting "Let's go break them into pieces." When we came in front of the SKC, we saw it completely shut down. Protection shields were placed on the windows and doors and the security bars were in place. As the representative of the organizers, I requested to be let in, also because it was my duty to appear there. They let me in and a little bit later my friends too. Inside, apart from SKC staff, there was almost no one else. I am checking by phone friends and colleagues from Labris. I hear that they are safe and that they won't be coming. SKC staff is asking me what would happen with the program. The journalists are arriving and constantly asking for interviews as well as for answers about whether there will be a program. I am trying to reach by phone the program participants. Some are willing to break through the mass and come; some not. I look through the window and based on the information I am receiving I notice that SKC is under siege by attackers gathered at different locations around the building–still, this time the special police is safeguarding the building. Shots are heard sometime after 5:00 PM. Tanja Pavlovic-Krizanic (a lawyer with the Humanitarian Law Center) comes with a baby to SKC asking me when would we start with the panel!!!. I was completely fascinated with her support as well as with the support of many other friends and activists. Without being overly dramatic, I am knowing that very important historical moments are happening, that nothing will be the same any more, that our Stonewall is happening. I am calling Lepa again by phone and I am trying to consult with her about the continuation of the program. She is replying that it is hard for her to move around and that I should decide on my own. I am receiving invitations to get out and I am brining in some people at my own responsibility. I feel as if I am in occupied, yet free territory. Outside I am speaking to the police and I am informed that the police officer in charge arrived and that I should inform him about the continuation of the program. Some are advising me to try to continue with the program, some are advising against. The journalists are continuously coming and asking questions. Several more bloodied and beaten participants in the parade have arrived. I am thinking whether we can have the press conference right now and I am realizing that would be hard. I am becoming aware our audience would not be able to get in, that attackers can get in too. I am receiving information that they follow anyone they consider suspicious, that they were attacking people far away from the place where the parade took place and that they are threatening with bombs. At the end, in order to protect the lives of all, around 5:25 PM I am finally deciding to cancel the rest of the program. I am announcing this to the SKC staff and to the person in charge from the police and he is politely asking us to leave the building by 6:30 PM, promising that the police will stay until that time. I informed the participants that the program has been canceled. Around 6:45 PM together with friends I head towards Women's Center. We received information that 40 citizens and 8 police officers were badly injured.

ne there, I meet a lot of people. We are exchanging experiences and dilemmas – were we early with organizing the public manifestation; were we reckless, did we disregard the political constellation (the extradition of Milosevic) and lack of education of the police regarding human rights, especially the rights of sexual minorities (the head of Belgrade police Bosko Buha made the following statement: "Our society as a community has not developed enough for that sort of expression of deviation."), the fact this country does not have an Attorney General nor a legislature which would protect our rights. But wasn't this exactly the attempt to finally bring attention to the violation of our rights, to the fact that we exist, that here and now we have the full right to enjoy all human rights guaranteed by international legal norms which Yugoslavia has signed?

My assessment was based on the achieved experiences too: last year we realized the project "COWN" (most and first of all because of the organization and significant engagement of my friend Deivan, artist and activist of Gayten- LGBT) and within it the exhibition: “100 Years of Gay Rights in Germany”, I was presenting at the panel titled "Getting Out of the Shade" (LGBT Identity and Rights), together with two friends and colleagues (Lepa and Dusan) I gave a lecture at the Faculty of Philosophy in Belgrade (I emphasize: during Milosevic regime), "The History of Civil Disobedience of Gay and Lesbian Movement: High Heels Against Police Batons," I acted in one of the first explicitly gay plays in Yugoslavia "Hissing Sonnets", I was speaking on a TV show, I participated in the protest meeting regarding reoccurring violence against Roma and LGBT population "Against Racism and Homophobia" (after the attack on Queeria, SDU) – and all these activities were public and published. There were no incidents. Furthermore, it is not necessary to mention all the activities within our organizations.

All these experiences were telling me that the time is right for our first public celebration of the Gay Pride Day with all measures of precaution. By the way, wasn't there a change of the government and isn't this society rapidly proceeding toward democracy? Should we retreat in the face of the same groups that were implementing the nazification of the society, ethnic cleansings, that were inspiring wars, aggression and hatred, which brought about mass graves right under our door steps?

I emphasize that during the last ten years the police managed to prevent protests of more than 100.000. citizens against the former regime, still it couldn't protect some thirty of us that day. A number of us witnessed police being begged to do something, but they remained deaf to all these pleads. The statement by the police chief that I quoted earlier speaks for itself.

After Lepa, another collaborator and me finished writing the public statement in the Women's Center, on behalf of Gayten-LGBT and Labris, around midnight I got back home. At that moment a colorful fireworks began on the sky above the nearby stadium, marking the end of the concert of a famous pop-singer. I thought: ironically - isn't this wonderful ending of our day of gay pride, and I wished that all our celebrations in the future ended up with the fireworks. When later everything got quiet, for the first time, after everything I've been through, I felt an abiding fear. But I remembered that there is an alternative for me: to live openly and with dignity, fully enjoying the rights and freedom that belong to all of us. I reminded myself of the words of my sister, poet, and gay/lesbian activist Audre Lorde: "When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."

Like my teacher Louise L. Hay, I too want to participate in "Creating a world where it's safe to love each other...". The very next day I started organizing a panel and a press conference at Center for Decontamination of Culture.

Milan, 5th of July, 2001, Belgrade Gayten-LGBT - Center for Promotion and Development of LGBT Human Rights, Coordinator