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Romance

In water my bones I will leave
In the Earth my face will be reflected in foliage
Is that that already I am buried and hoping while lying
for the salvation I hope
I rebel to the destiny or shall I give myself
That if I remain with you
the quiet heart will be my Niche and my eternal existence


...............


The fertile valley of verses
still seduces the daughters of the light
in the dresses of the Moon
All the Earth sisters one to another
one quiet call and to me to dance
they invite Cripple of the hand to one of them
I am clumsy.
Slip!
In vain they do not distance to the forced crossings
Of the support points and precipices to me




Ako se nekom dopadne, da li bi mogao da mi pomogne da bolje prevedem? ))))))))))

Uh, 15 pregleda

Ova druga mi se vishe svidja tematski.

Malo mi ne shtima - one quiet call and to me to dance.

Mozda je isuvishe doslovno prevedeno.

The fertile valley of verses
still lures the daughters of Light
dressed in Moon's gowns
sisters to each other
on the Earth they hail silently
and inviting me to join the dance.

Originally posted by Moon_Hunter
dakle, 'plodna' si dodala..

The fertile valley of verses
still lures the daughters of Light
dressed in Moon's gowns
sisters to each other
on the Earth they hail silently
and inviting me to join the dance.

imacemo sta da radimo nocas

koliko placash?

Poeziju ne treba "prevoditi". Ako se prevodi, onda je to samo informacija za lakse razumevanje originala.

Drugim recima, pisi "izvorno" na engleskom

Originally posted by Moon_Hunter
koliko placash?

u naturi

zezam se, dogovoricemo se

Originally posted by Vlada T
Poeziju ne treba "prevoditi". Ako se prevodi, onda je to samo informacija za lakse razumevanje originala.

Drugim recima, pisi "izvorno" na engleskom

OK, poslusacu tvoj savet

Originally posted by Vlada T
Poeziju ne treba "prevoditi". Ako se prevodi, onda je to samo informacija za lakse razumevanje originala.

Drugim recima, pisi "izvorno" na engleskom

Slazem se sa tobom, treba pisati odmah na engleskom, ali je mnogo teze.
Ne umanjujem sposobnosti drage Angeline, ali nekim ljudima je lakshe da se otvore i ispolje svoje emocije na maternjem jeziku, dok prevode iz nekih drugih razloga.
Ne samo da bi uzivali u tome, vec i da bi poneshto zaradili izvan zemlje Srbije.

Originally posted by Moon_Hunter

Originally posted by Vlada T
Poeziju ne treba "prevoditi". Ako se prevodi, onda je to samo informacija za lakse razumevanje originala.

Drugim recima, pisi "izvorno" na engleskom

Slazem se sa tobom, treba pisati odmah na engleskom, ali je mnogo teze.
Ne umanjujem sposobnosti drage Angeline, ali nekim ljudima je lakshe da se otvore i ispolje svoje emocije na maternjem jeziku, dok prevode iz nekih drugih razloga.
Ne samo da bi uzivali u tome, vec i da bi poneshto zaradili izvan zemlje Srbije.

Pa recimo da mi jeste lakse da ispoljim emocije na maternjem, za sada. Mada imam pesmu koju sam napisala na engleskom, "izvorno". Sad cu da je iskopam
A prevodim kako bi citalac sa drugog jezickog podneblja, prirodno, razumeo sta pisem..

Spoken cruelty

Come in, don't sit, keep still.
Don't move!
Do what i tell you to do

.Don't look at me, your eyes insult me.
Don't talk to me, your words contaminate me.

Don't touch me, your touch's poisoned.
Don't breath, you might aspire my toughts.

Don't listen to me, you might believe my words
Just stand, stand still, until i say so.

I just want to look at you, admire your figure,
caress your innocence, protect you from me.

I told you not to move!!!

Can't you see i don't want you to see me?
Turn around, lower your eyes, open your legs

Like meat you are to me, a masterpiece in this zoo.
Don't direct any of your emotions to me,
don't pretend to show me your warmth.

You're meat,
you're bones,
hair,
muscle
fat.
You're human afterall,
you bleed like pigs do.

I said don't look at me!

Do my words offend you?
Well, go to hell, then!!

(Silent cry)

Poor baby,my angel.
Your sacred, innocent
pure virginity is gone.

(Evil smile)

Naravno, shirimo svoje misli, poduchavajmo..!




iskopaj je..

Originally posted by Moon_Hunter
Naravno, shirimo svoje misli, poduchavajmo..!




iskopaj je..

iznad tebe je, pilence

Ideja je dobra, gorchina je tu.
Na dobrom je putu, mada je treba obogatiti malo mekshim, lakshim, vazdushastijim rechima.
Chisto da bi sebe mogla podsetiti na velike poete.
Kada budesh pisala tako, mislim da cesh biti isuvishe zadovoljna svojim uchinkom.
(ako do sada nisi )

Ma, kasno sam videla.

Originally posted by Moon_Hunter
Ideja je dobra, gorchina je tu.
Na dobrom je putu, mada je treba obogatiti malo mekshim, lakshim, vazdushastijim rechima.
Chisto da bi sebe mogla podsetiti na velike poete.
Kada budesh pisala tako, mislim da cesh biti isuvishe zadovoljna svojim uchinkom.
(ako do sada nisi )

Pa rekoh ti da je teze (bar meni) da se izrazim na nematernjem jeziku

A sad cu ti pastovati pesmu THAT YOU DIE (moj prevod )

pa ovo je vec brezobrazluk Angie

znas da postoji i tema Biblioteka (il` tako nekako) za pastovanje knjizevnih dostignuca forumasa?



Okrutna poema mi se bas dojmila
jer je u isto vreme tako okrutna i tako neokrutna

Originally posted by blabla-baby
pa ovo je vec brezobrazluk Angie

znas da postoji i tema Biblioteka (il` tako nekako) za pastovanje knjizevnih dostignuca forumasa?



Okrutna poema mi se bas dojmila
jer je u isto vreme tako okrutna i tako neokrutna

Hvala

Nisam znala da postoji tema? Pa ok, može da se pripoji.

Originally posted by Angelina777
Spoken cruelty

Come in, don't sit, keep still.
Don't move!
Do what i tell you to do

.Don't look at me, your eyes insult me.
Don't talk to me, your words contaminate me.

Don't touch me, your touch's poisoned.
Don't breath, you might aspire my toughts.

Don't listen to me, you might believe my words
Just stand, stand still, until i say so.

I just want to look at you, admire your figure,
caress your innocence, protect you from me.

I told you not to move!!!

Can't you see i don't want you to see me?
Turn around, lower your eyes, open your legs

Like meat you are to me, a masterpiece in this zoo.
Don't direct any of your emotions to me,
don't pretend to show me your warmth.

You're meat,
you're bones,
hair,
muscle
fat.
You're human afterall,
you bleed like pigs do.

I said don't look at me!

Do my words offend you?
Well, go to hell, then!!

(Silent cry)

Poor baby,my angel.
Your sacred, innocent
pure virginity is gone.

(Evil smile)

Vidis, ovako je vec zanimljivije. Ima neki "grejs-dzonsovski" kvalitet u ovoj pesmi, gotovo mašinske eksplicitnosti u rečima, pa to onda dobro dočarava atmosferu pesme i onoga "što je pesnik 'teo da kaže".